IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays in many countries women have full time jobs. Therefore, it is logical to share household tasks evenly between men and women. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#countries #women #time #jobs #household #tasks #men
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days, in many nations, females are employed
full-time
Change preposition
in full-time
show examples
 jobs.
Therefore
, it is more logical and equal to
share
household
 chores for
both
men
 and
women
. I completely agree with
this
 viewpoint, and in
this
 essay, I will propose my opinion and give examples. The first reason for my belief is that sharing
housework
 might reduce less burden on a single person, especially
women
 who
work
 full-time. It is unfair that the wife has to do
household
work
while
 working full-time because
both
tasks
 are complex and time-consuming. Since
women
 perform full-time jobs because their physical abilities are limited,
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they cannot finish all
tasks
 with good results. If husbands
share
 ordinary
work
 with their partners,
women
 will have more time to care for their children and could be more successful in their careers.
In addition
 to dividing domestic
work
, working couples could eliminate conflict in
family
Add an article
the family
show examples
. When
both
 husband and wife contribute to
household
work
, no one complains that one is doing more
work
 than another.
This
 leads to having a happy family and a prosperous life.
For instance
,
while
Correct article usage
a women
show examples
women
Fix the agreement mistake
woman
show examples
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 all
tasks
,
such
 as cleaning the house, doing
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
laundry and taking care of children, she might feel irritated with her husband,
therefore
 leading to a quarrel.
Moreover
, doing
housework
 together will
be built
Wrong verb form
build
show examples
 up teamwork between wife and husband. Some people may argue that
housework
 is a
women's
Fix the agreement mistake
woman's
show examples
 job. It is a prejudice from the early days when
men
 used to
work
while
women
 spent all their day doing
household
 chores. But now, females have careers, so it is vital to
share
 domestic
tasks
.
Men
 should
share
housework
 because they are part of the family. In conclusion, sharing
household
 duties with each other is responsible for
both
men
 and
women
. It is an excellent initiative to reduce the pressure of doing
housework
 individually and lower the chances of conflict between family members.
Submitted by nguyengiangbk2018 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are strong and clearly summarize the main points.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and effectively.
grammatical range
Work on using a variety of complex sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: