Nowadays the majority of humans utilize the internet and mobile phones to transfer cash to friends relatives and busines whether using internet to transport money is a negative or a positive trend among individuals. From my point of view, utelizing smartphone is a positive development.

Nowadays the majority of humans utilize the

internet

Use synonyms

and mobile phones to

transfer

Use synonyms

cash to friends relatives and

busines

Correct your spelling

business

whether using

Use synonyms

internet

Add an article

the internet

show examples

to transport

money

Use synonyms

is a negative or a positive trend among individuals. From my point of view,

utelizing

Correct your spelling

utilising

smartphone is a positive development. There is no doubt that

Change the verb form

transferring

show examples

transfer

Use synonyms

cash via

Use synonyms

internet

Add an article

the internet

show examples

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

coused

Correct your spelling

caused

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

204 words

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Nowadays the majority of humans utilize the internet and mobile phones to transfer cash to friends relatives and busines whether using internet to transport money is a negative or a positive trend among individuals. From my point of view, utelizing smartphone is a positive development.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Employers should give their staff at least four-weeks’ holiday a year to help employees get better at their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the government should give money to creative people, such as artists and musicians. To what extent do you agree?

Do you think businesses should hire employees who will spend their entire lives working for the company? Explain why you agree or disagree. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

Some people think the manufacturers and shopping malls should sell fewer packaged products while others argue that people have the responsibility to buy products with less packaging. Discuss both views and give ypur opinion.