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Band 5

In many developing countries, there is an increased movement of workers from rural areas in to cities. Why do you think this happens? What problems can this cause?

#countries #movement #workers #areas #cities
Studying
climate
 as a field of study will be very fascinating for me. I would prefer to study
climate
 zones, specifically
arctic
Correct article usage
the arctic
show examples
climate
 zone.
This
climate
 zone is not
that
Correct word choice
as
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 widespread around the globe as the others, and
extend
Correct subject-verb agreement
extends
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 on the edges of Scandinavia, Canada, Alaska, Greenland, my native country Russia and of course whole Arctic. Conditions there are very severe. Really long, freezing winters and short cold
summers
. Temperatures can reach minus 70 degrees. The winters stretch for almost eight months in a year, while
summers
 here are approximately about two months. In
summers
Fix the agreement mistake
summer
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 temperatures barely reach 0
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
celsius
Change the capitalization
Celsius
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. There is
scarcity
Add an article
a scarcity
the scarcity
show examples
 of atmospheric precipitations. Because of
small
Add an article
a small
the small
show examples
 amount of
snow
Add a comma
,snow
show examples
 the soil freezes harder and since there are short and cold
summers
 ground doesn’t have time to defrost.
This
 phenomenon is called permafrost.
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
climate
 change applies to
Arctic
Correct article usage
the Arctic
show examples
 more than others. The Arctic warming three times as fast as the global average.
This
 significant regional warming leads to
continued
Correct article usage
the continued
show examples
 loss of sea
ice
,
melting
Correct article usage
the melting
show examples
 of glaciers and polar
ice
 caps. It will cause water
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
 around the world to rise and
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 difficult to tell how fast
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 will occur. And many
specious
Correct your spelling
species
show examples
 inhabiting regions covered by seasonal sea
ice
, rely on suitable, sturdy
ice
 for resting, foraging and etc.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 local oil development and mining could increase the chemical load in the Arctic along with ocean currents and wind that
carrying
Wrong verb form
carry
show examples
 chemicals, some of which are toxic. All these will expose the Arctic to a greater risk of pollution. In conclusion,
climate
Add an article
the climate
show examples
 is
important
Add an article
an important
show examples
 area to study, which helps us to understand how
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
 is changing and what impact it
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 on our lives. Studying the
climate
 helps us see which regions are most likely to be affected by natural disasters, or how far sea levels will rise.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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