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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Nowadays young people know less about traditions and culture than in the past. What are the reasons for it? Is this a positive development or a negative development?

#people #traditions #culture #development
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Culture
Use synonyms
 and traditions
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 a crucial
things
Change the noun form
thing
show examples
 to learn
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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past
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
both young and old, but recently, young adults have fewer or no knowledge about
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 is because of
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of exposure to cultural heritage and
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in modern ideas. In my own opinion,
this
Linking Words
 is a negative development.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, inadequate guidance and accessibility to ancient heritage
as
Correct your spelling
has
show examples
 a detrimental effect on young
individula
Correct your spelling
individual
individuals
.
Museums
Change the noun form
Museum
show examples
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 an
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
show examples
 of a place to learn and rewind
of
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apply
show examples
how traditions are been
practiced
Change the spelling
practised
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, going to
cultural
Replace the word
culture
show examples
 or viewing to see videos or drama of history but
Linking Words
instead
Add a comma
,instead
show examples
 lifestyle
modofucation
Correct your spelling
modification
 has set in whereby
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 take much of
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 time learning white traditions.
For example
Linking Words
, a neighbour of mine
enjoy
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enjoys
show examples
 going to cinemas to see American
new
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newly
show examples
 aired movies
instead
Linking Words
 of local movies.
Secondly
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, modern thought has encapsulated young ones to the extent they
do
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
 not have
interest
Correct article usage
an interest
show examples
 in
culture
Use synonyms
anylonger
Correct your spelling
any longer
.
For example
Linking Words
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reasearch
Correct your spelling
research
 has shown that about 85% of people like wearing modern clothing.
This
Linking Words
 is a bad development because it erases our mind off our
culture
Use synonyms
 which inturns make us
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
inculcale
Correct your spelling
inculcate
 habits that
isnt
Correct your spelling
isn't
is
 part of our
culture
Use synonyms
 into practice. In conclusion, inadequate exposure to
traditons
Correct your spelling
traditions
 and
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in modern ideas are the reasons why
youger
Correct your spelling
younger
 people have little understanding
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
culture
Use synonyms
 and with
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
,this
show examples
 it is a negative development.
Submitted by olaryinkar on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural homogenization
  • Globalization
  • Digital platforms
  • Modernity
  • Educational priorities
  • Marketable skills
  • Cultural identity
  • Social cohesion
  • Ethnocentrism
  • Cultural extinction
  • Traditional practices
  • Interconnected world
What to do next:
Look at other essays: