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Writing Samples
Band 4

These days, many people have their own computer and telephone, so it is quite easy for them to do their job at home. Does working at home have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #computer #telephone #job #home
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In contemporary society, the laptop and
cellphone
Correct your spelling
cell phone
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 are becoming more and more universal as the rapid development of technology.
Therefore
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, working at
home
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 turns
to
Change preposition
out to
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 be an effortless thing for many individuals. There are many pros and cons to doing
jobs
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
people
Use synonyms
’s own houses. And I maintain that working at
home
Use synonyms
 can bring far more disadvantages than working in offices.
First,
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we have to admit that working at
home
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 can save a great deal of time. Usually,
people
Use synonyms
 live a distance
far
Rephrase
apply
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away
their
Change preposition
from their
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 workplace so they have to drive or take a bicycle to get
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
office
Use synonyms
 to check in.
Sometime
Correct your spelling
Sometimes
show examples
, they may be stuck in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 traffic jam for a long time.
Thus
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, doing
jobs
Use synonyms
 at
home
Use synonyms
prevent
Correct subject-verb agreement
prevents
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 from
involving
Wrong verb form
being involved
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 in these problems. Not only has
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 advantages for individuals it
also
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 contributes to the decreasing of spending in
Use synonyms
company
Add an article
the company
a company
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.
Furthermore
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, the expenditure would have a sharp decrease because
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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people
Use synonyms
 work in the
office
Use synonyms
. When all the staff work in the
office
Use synonyms
, the leaders or
managers
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 have to rent a huge place to accommodate all of
staff
Add an article
the staff
show examples
.
However
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, it is not still a problem now.
In addition
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,
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 in the
office
Use synonyms
 means that the
managers
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 don’t need to pay the clearing
company
Use synonyms
 much. And
the
Correct article usage
apply
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saving money can be
Correct article usage
a rewards
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rewards
Fix the agreement mistake
reward
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 for
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
 who bring more financial
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 to the firm, encouraging them to work harder.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, working at
home
Use synonyms
 can cause more detrimental effects
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development
show examples
 and
management
Use synonyms
 of the
company
Use synonyms
. At
first,
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it is not uncommon that
people
Use synonyms
 working at
home
Use synonyms
 is not efficient and they cannot concentrate on their own
jobs
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instead
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 of doing something which can make them unwind and joyful. Low efficiency could
a
Add a missing verb
be a
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serious problem in that case.
Besides
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, uniform
management
Use synonyms
 is the crucial basis for a celebrated or
a
Correct article usage
apply
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successful
company
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. When most or all of the employees do their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 at
home
Use synonyms
, the
managers
Use synonyms
 cannot communicate with them face to face. It means that it is tough
know
Add the particle
to know
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 their feelings and states which are something obtained by observing emotions.
In addition
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, the meeting
also
Linking Words
become
Change the verb form
becomes
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 a headache as the
managers
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 don’t know what employees are doing when holding a telephone meeting. It is of great significance to imply
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
uniform
management
Use synonyms
. To summarize, doing
jobs
Use synonyms
 at
home
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 has advantages
as well as
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 disadvantages. In my opinion, the disadvantages are more and can bring irrevocable influence to the
management
Use synonyms
 of the
company
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by chengx on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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