Some employers offer their employees subsidized memberships of gyms and sport clubs, believing that this will make their staff healthier and more effective at work, other employers see no benefit in doing so. Discuss both views and present your opinion.

In
this
fast-paced world, everyone will have money since there are lots of opportunities around us but considering health as wealth is a new initiative by some employers nowadays.
Hence
, a
certin
Correct your spelling
certain
amount of organization thinks to fund their
employees
in order to get fit and live healthily because It will increase the quality of their performance.
However
, some companies do not support
this
idea. In
this
essay, I will discuss each of the views followed by my opinion. If a person is healthy
then
only he can perform his work with
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good efficiency and considering
this
concept, companies nowadays
offering
Wrong verb form
offer
show examples
certain kinds of relief on fees of the health centre or sports centre.
In addition
, Employers know that majority of people do not want to gym just because it gives a burden on their pocket.
Therefore
, giving funds to them will motivate them and can clear the hurdle of expense.
As a result
, they will stay fit and can increase their focus on the workplace. The survey of 2007 by International health is living proof that
employees
who are using company-funded gym facilities and keeping their selves healthy performed far better than those who are not active.
On the other hand
, there are
employees
who misuse
such
kind of benefits and do not like to exercise daily. Other
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
this
, they do not value
such
an advantage because a firm is the one
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
pays for that.
Furthermore
, some
employees
are so lethargic that they will not do an effort to get to the gym
although
they are already paid for that. In the end, subsidizing membership no longer motivates them and
such
organizations can not see any change. According to me, helping financially to stay fit is a great initiative which keeps staff
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
healthy which ultimately helps them to increase their productivity
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
the job.
Submitted by mengar.bittu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: