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Writing Samples
Band 4

Today More and More tourists are visiting places where conditions are diffcult ,such as sahara desert or the antarctic. what are the benefits and disadvantges for tourists who visit such places?

#tourists #places #conditions #diffcult #sahara #desert #antarctic #disadvantges #visit
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Around the world, As well as in my
country
Add a comma
,country
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 huge
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 are visiting
the
Correct article usage
apply
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places even though having the
diffcicult
Correct your spelling
difficult
 weather conditions.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think
people
Use synonyms
 who are visiting in
such
Linking Words
 un even weather circumstances have to take major precautions to avoid any problems. Undoubtedly, Having
a
Change the article
the
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 plan to visit these deserts like Sahara and
Antarctic
Correct article usage
the Antarctic
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 have different problems.One of the Major
concern
Fix the agreement mistake
concerns
show examples
is
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
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 of
water
Use synonyms
 in
desert
Add an article
the desert
a desert
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. In my past experience, Visited one of the small mountain
valley
Change to a plural noun
valleys
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.In
Middle
Correct article usage
the Middle
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 of
Post
Correct article usage
the Post
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 after noon my crew has run out of
water
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 and everyone has super thirsty and searching for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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water
Use synonyms
 after
Linking Words
further
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the further
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move
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movement
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 we found one
littel
Correct your spelling
little
 oasis,All of us
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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survived at that moment.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, Visiting the deserts
like
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apply
show examples
places will have more fun and
pleasure
Correct article usage
a pleasure
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to
Change preposition
for
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 everyone ,If we plan these
type
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types
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 of trips with
Add an article
a group
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group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
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 of experience
people
Use synonyms
 will give us
the
Correct article usage
apply
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comfortable
feelings
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feeling
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. In My personal opinion,
Last
Linking Words
 year we
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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visited
Correct article usage
the sahara
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sahara
Change the capitalization
Sahara
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 desert with ten
mem
Correct your spelling
men
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 as
group
Add an article
a group
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 with all
relevant
Correct article usage
the relevant
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 things like abundant
water
Use synonyms
 , food ,beverages,leather jacket including
the
Correct article usage
apply
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skin protection creams.
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
body had
Add an article
a
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flat
shoe
Fix the agreement mistake
shoes
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 with
light weight
Correct your spelling
lightweight
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 can move fast in the sand. We
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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successfully completed the trip
with out
Correct your spelling
without
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 any problems.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
People
Use synonyms
 have to plan and travel the desert trips with camels.Camels are extremely helpful in case
if
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
you are unable to walk on the sand.Came travel is
safe
Add an article
a safe
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 mode of
journey
Add an article
the journey
a journey
show examples
 where we can keep our
laguages
Correct your spelling
languages
luggage
. In conclusion, Visiting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
deserted areas
people
Use synonyms
 should
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
have
Add the particle
tohave
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 take all
Correct article usage
the
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necessary measures in order to reach the inhabitants safely.
Submitted by subbarayudu676 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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