people are becoming less interested in community activities. What is causing this behaviour and what will be the result? provide explanations and examples to support your answer.

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Introduction

Humans are becoming more and more isolated and lonely, nowadays. Smartphones and personal computers are the main causes of

this

Linking Words

phenomenon. It can lead to depression and anxiety in society in the

Linking Words

future and can decrease the output of people.

Body paragraph 1

On the one hand, technology has brought many changes in our lifestyles, but it can have a great impact on our mental health.

For instance

Linking Words

, family gatherings are eradicated

Change preposition

apply

show examples

these days because people who attend them use their phones most of the time.

Also

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, in

this

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age humans have a heavy workload and are busy a whole day, for that reason they cannot play an important role in community activities

such

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as charities.

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand

Linking Words

, social problems are very vital for society and residents in each country. If community activities become more unpopular, it can demolish their culture and eradicate it. Being alone can lead to depression and enhance the rate of anxiety and disappointment. People who suffer from it should visit therapists.

Also

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, can influence the output of society in every aspect like occupations and creativenesses.

Conclusion

By way of conclusion,

firstly

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, social behaviours are helpful and constructive for humans, but technology can cause crucial issues

besides

Linking Words

heavy workloads AND UNFLEXIBLE working hours.

Secondly

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, a lack of community activities can cause depression and anxiety in

this

Linking Words

era.

melika7amouian9

Dec 14, 2022

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

221 words

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