Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Many people believe that they should spend a great deal of a lifetime working in the same enterprise,
while
others think that relocating jobs to different companies might provide more advantages. In the following paragraphs, both of these viewpoints will be discussed in detail.
It is true to say that employees
should be spending their life working in the same enterprise. In addition
, there are numerous benefits that the organisation will give to their employees
such
as company benefits which are the best incentive and providing a financially stable plan such
as the retirement plan benefit that might support them when they might be faced with serious problems. Moreover
, dental and life insurance is offered to the employees
that can support them when they have an accident or dental treatment. These play a significant role for the employees
that lead them in a positive way to work longer in the company.
However
, changing work to different companies might be useful for the employees
. There are a variety of things that will provide positive benefits to employees
such
as new experiences and promotions in the job position. For instance
, cultures in the new organization might gain more career skills from associates which might build more connections for business in the future, while
transferring positions can increase the level of income and can negotiate for a higher position which new challenges also
gain a load of experience.
In conclusion, it can be seen that these two opinions have a lot of advantages. People who perform in the same place are supported by life safety whereas
changing firms can offer new skills and job promotions.Submitted by tanakrithasuvanakit on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
The essay addresses both viewpoints and provides examples, but the response could be more comprehensive and the examples could be more specific and relevant to the arguments presented.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally clear, but some paragraphs lack coherence and unity. Additionally, the introduction and conclusion need improvement in terms of summarizing the main points and providing a more cohesive ending.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a range of vocabulary, but there are instances of inaccurate word choices and collocations that affect the fluency and precision of expression. Some repetition of vocabulary can also be observed.
grammatical range
The essay shows a good command of grammar, but there are instances of errors in sentence structure and verb tense consistency. The use of complex structures and varied sentence patterns is commendable, but some errors affect the overall clarity of the writing.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
