Many people today would argue that cinemas are becoming irrelevant due to new streaming services. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #cinemas #services

this

modern ,era people have many alternatives for everything that makes our life easy. Some folks say that in

this

technical

world

Add a comma

world,

show examples

cinemas lost their value and people prefer other new streaming sites

such

as Netflix,

prime video

Correct your spelling

Prime Video

show examples

and so on. I disagree with

this

statement and in forthcoming ,paragraphs I will extend my view and others'

view

Fix the agreement mistake

views

show examples

as well and give an appropriate conclusion to

this

essay. Nowadays, the public has many options

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

available to watch movies

such

as Hotstar, Netflix,

prime video

Correct your spelling

Prime Video

show examples

and many more so they no longer need cinemas.

Furthermore

, these sites provide all the latest content to them and

due to

their busy schedule, our community have no extra time for cinema

as well

Correct word choice

and

show examples

these updated version streaming services replace the old method of movies.

In addition

this

, these types of entertainment assist the public when they feel bored in their workplace.

However

, these are quite expensive but useful as well. Moving

further

, movie house has their own value and is still popular among the public

while

many options are available in the market.

Moreover

, it has a huge screen,and a silent environment, and the sound quality is far better than streaming apps.

Apart from

this

, it gives the opportunity to

crowd

Verb problem

apply

show examples

get familiar with others. Above and beyond

this

, it

also

provides quality time to society that they spend with their family and loved ones. Well, the film not only connects family to family but

also

connect their soul. In conclusion,

although

the latest streaming apps replace movie theatres, but

did

Wrong verb form

show examples

not completely replace their value. It is still popular in the community and the population prefers to watch films there because it has many advantages.

Submitted by mahlyan.vs2111999 on Fri Dec 16 2022

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coherence and cohesion

Improve the structure of the essay by using clear and logical paragraph organization. Ensure that each paragraph addresses a specific point related to the topic.

task response

Provide more specific examples and elaborate on each point made in the essay. Additionally, address all aspects of the task prompt thoroughly and cohesively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people today would argue that cinemas are becoming irrelevant due to new streaming services. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient . Other people say that computers have made life more complex and stressful . What is your opinion ? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer .

These days internet-based courses have become a popular alternative to university-based courses. Some students prefer this type of learning because they do not need to attend lectures. Others argue that it is important to study at university. Discuss both sides of the views and give your opinion.

Fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming more popular. Some feels this is a positive trend ,while others don't.what's your opinion?'

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as Important to a child’ development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?