IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe women are better leaders than men. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #women #leaders #men
Many arguments say that
women
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
 quality to lead than men. My notion has
distinct
Add an article
a distinct
show examples
 position with
this
 statement.
Moreover
,
this
 essay will explain
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
show examples
 and several examples
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the issue in depth.
To begin
 with,
women
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
capability
Change the article
the capability
show examples
 to organise people well,
nevertheless
Add a comma
,nevertheless
show examples
 they do not plan clearly when they take a decision.
This
 condition is encouraged by
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
their
subjectivness
Correct your spelling
subjectiveness
subjective
 to look at the problems,
hence
, they cannot resolve the issues
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 different perspectives.
For instance
, Liz Trust, a former prime minister of the United Kingdom, imposed
low
Correct article usage
a low
show examples
 tax rule amid
crisis
Correct article usage
a crisis
show examples
energy
Change preposition
of energy
show examples
.
Consequently
, many protests emerged in the UK,
included
Wrong verb form
including
show examples
 from her parliament.
As a result
, she resigned from her position after 2 weeks.
In addition
,
women
 who involve their sensitive feeling in
work
Add an article
the work
a work
show examples
 environment, often cannot distinguish the matter
in
Change preposition
between
show examples
 their occupation and their personal life. If they are struggling with their family, they likely will be more
stressful
Replace the word
stressed
show examples
 in their office.
Therefore
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 toxic environment is inevitable which will impact their team. According to my experience, my supervisor would anger if a worker made a small mistake.
As a result
,
grup
Correct your spelling
group
 discussion was halted without
certain
Correct article usage
a certain
show examples
 schedule for
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 meeting.
Although
women
’s
feeling
Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
show examples
 can hamper
her
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 capability to be a
leader
, their
sensitivness
Correct your spelling
sensitiveness
sensitive
 is their power to reach out
many
Change preposition
to many
show examples
society’
Change noun form
society
show examples
 levels.
Therefore
,
women
leader
Fix the agreement mistake
leaders
show examples
 will be more
understand
Change the form of the verb
understanding
show examples
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the adversity which is
happened
Wrong verb form
happening
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
marginal
Correct article usage
the marginal
show examples
 level. In conclusion, I disagree that
women
 are better to be a
leader
 than
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
. The quality of
women
 is not sufficient to be a good
leader
Fix the agreement mistake
leaders
show examples
 than men, since their subjectiveness and their feeling will influence their capability when deciding crucial rules and
built
Wrong verb form
building
show examples
 their work environment.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • emotional intelligence
  • democratic leadership
  • participation
  • collaboration
  • diverse leadership
  • decision-making
  • problem-solving
  • perspectives
  • compassionate
  • empathetic
  • supportive work environment
  • historical data
  • research
  • female-led businesses
  • financial performance
  • multitasking
  • managing complex projects
  • teams
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