IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many countries want to host international sports events, while other countries think that hosting sports events has more problems than benefits. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#countries #host #sports #events
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is a debate going on
whether
Change preposition
about whether
show examples
 hosting sports
events
Use synonyms
 has more problems than benefits. I believe that hosting
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
events
Use synonyms
 can really put your
city
Use synonyms
 on the map, but
also
Linking Words
 it can generate a
lot
Use synonyms
 of issues and you must deal with them quickly. I am going to present
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 and disadvantages
regarding
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 topic. The most beneficial advantage is fame to the
city
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because when
people
Use synonyms
 arrive there to watch sporting
events
Use synonyms
, they
also
Linking Words
 visit some of the most famous places in the town and it can lead to them coming to the
city
Use synonyms
 regularly or as a spot for
vacation
Add an article
a vacation
show examples
.
Also
Linking Words
, when
people
Use synonyms
 come there they
also
Linking Words
 spend money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 food,
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
accessories,
accommodation
Correct word choice
and accommodation
show examples
 and it can raise the town’s economy.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 there are some disadvantages
such
Linking Words
 as when a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 arrive, everyone will want to eat and if there would be a small
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of restaurants, that would certainly be
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
big trouble.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 will stay in the town for the night, so the town must have a couple of hotels to accommodate them.
Lastly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 tend to drink alcoholic beverages
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 sports
events
Use synonyms
, so the public transport and taxi services have to be working flawlessly. All in all, there are advantages and disadvantages on both sides, but I believe that if the
city
Use synonyms
 is capable to accommodate and take care of a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
,
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
events
Use synonyms
 cannot do any harm and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 will lead to the fame for
Use synonyms
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
 and a raise in workers wages.
Submitted by oimigle on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • host nation
  • economic benefits
  • infrastructure development
  • global standing
  • international investments
  • cultural exchange
  • financial burden
  • debt
  • environmental impact
  • short-term economic boost
  • facilities underutilization
  • displacement of residents
  • tourism
  • job creation
  • visibility on the international stage
What to do next:
Look at other essays: