IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Some people believe that uniform should be made compulsory part of the workplace, some disagree, discuss both view and give your opinion.

#people #uniform #part #workplace #disagree
These days many people are obliged to wear a
uniform
 in a certain company to
shows
Wrong verb form
show
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 identity but
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Correct article usage
the contrary
show examples
contrary
Add a comma
,contrary
show examples
 some people argued it's not necessary to wear a
uniform
. Both
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 their own reasons why which I will explain more about them below.
Firstly
, in a company where the
uniform
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
compulsory
Add an article
a compulsory
show examples
 part of the work,
surely
Correct pronoun usage
it surely
show examples
to
Add a missing verb
has to
show examples
 differentiate its
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
 or not. The mentors will
now
Correct your spelling
know
show examples
 well about
Add an article
a worker
the worker
show examples
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
 who don't work
good
Change the word
well
show examples
 or
even
Add a missing verb
are even
show examples
 absent in their place.
For
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 the mentors
cen
Correct your spelling
can
 recognise the
staffs
 who are not in the working places
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
uniform
. I do believe they want to make their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
easily
Change the word
easy
show examples
 to do and to make the
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
discipline
Wrong verb form
disciplined
show examples
.
On the other hand
,
Add an article
a uniform
show examples
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
show examples
 are not necessary since the workplace
in
Add a missing verb
is in
show examples
 the building. The
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
 said that
uniform
Correct article usage
the uniform
show examples
 is a symbol for those who
working
Change the form of the verb
work
show examples
 in the public. So no need to wear the
uniform
 if we work in a building.
In addition
, they argued working
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
uniform
 is always out of date since the
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
 label of working by
finger prints
Correct your spelling
fingerprints
show examples
 and by the outcome we bring. To sum up, both wearing
uniform
 or not have
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 reasons to deal with.
Wether
Correct your spelling
whether
show examples
 to make the workers
discipline
Wrong verb form
disciplined
show examples
 or to ease the mentors to see the job description of the workers.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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