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Band 4

Some people believe that mobile phone conversations should be banned in crowded and social places. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #phone #conversations #places
More and more
people
 think that mobile
phone
 discussions must be prohibited in crowded and social areas.
This
 essay will discuss that forbid mobile
phone
 conversations in crowded and social
places
. Some
people
 think that it's better to talk on the
phone
.Because communication on the
phone
 allows
people
 to bring
people
 closer to each other.
For example
,according to the data,30% of our country's residents work abroad,so they cannot come home and in
this
situation
Add a comma
,situation
show examples
 they talk to family members by
phone
.
On the other hand
,some
people
 think that it is necessary to cancel communication on the
phone
 in public
places
.For
this
reason
Add a comma
,reason
show examples
people
 can put their lives in danger by talking on the
phone
.As an example,according to scientists,60% of car accidents in the world are caused by the use of phones in public
places
. Some
people
 think that if the
phone
 is used in public
places
,it can harm the individuals nearby.Because humans make excessive noise while talking on the
phone
.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 using the
phone
 can save
people
's lives in many cases.Because if there is a fire in someone's house
of
Correct your spelling
or
show examples
 if someone suddenly gets sick,we call the ambulance or the fire department
through
Change preposition
over
show examples
 the
phone
. In conclusion,everything has its good and bad sides.From my way of thinking, the
phone
 has some good and bad effects on our country and
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
people
.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Disrupt
  • Infringe
  • Social rudeness
  • Public transport
  • Necessity
  • Convenience
  • Emergencies
  • Personal freedom
  • Designated areas
  • Compromise
  • Context
  • Advocating
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