Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantage or more disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation #advantage

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Working non-stop and

spend

Wrong verb form

spending

show examples

no time

for

Change preposition

show examples

relax is arising issue in 21 centries. I strongly believe it results in various issues for

people

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

health

Use synonyms

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

and family issues

depite

Correct your spelling

despite

the money

people

Use synonyms

might get in the short term and the fame they might receive from

boss

Correct pronoun usage

their boss

show examples

collegues

Correct your spelling

colleagues

and others.

First

Linking Words

of all, sleep is one of the most fundamental leisure activities,

however

Linking Words

, long hours of work causes

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of sleep which is a critical factor

Change preposition

show examples

bad

health

Use synonyms

condition. Loads of research

shows

Correct subject-verb agreement

show

show examples

the benefits of sleeping.

For instance

Linking Words

, sleep helps to detox pressure and

anxioty

Correct your spelling

anxiety

from

people

Use synonyms

Human

Add an article

The human

show examples

brain can be easily damaged under constant high pressure.

Besides

Linking Words

, human

being

Fix the agreement mistake

beings

show examples

get energy recharge by sleeping. It means physical

health

Use synonyms

will be impacted by lack of sleep too.

Moreover

Linking Words

, gathering for fun activities,

such

Linking Words

as movies,

cinama

Correct your spelling

cinema

and travel is important for family, especially for children.

Strong

Correct article usage

A strong

show examples

family bond requires regular and positive interaction among every family member. Playing with kids

bring

Correct subject-verb agreement

brings

show examples

the whole family closer.

In addition

Linking Words

, children's

personality

Fix the agreement mistake

personalities

show examples

as well as social skill development can

be largely benefit

Change the verb form

largely benefit

show examples

from playing with parents. Lack of family bonding often

result

Change the verb form

results

show examples

acadamic

Correct your spelling

academic

underperformance for children. More and more

people

Use synonyms

starts

Change the verb form

start

show examples

to realize that overwork can be harmful

for

Change the preposition

show examples

people

Use synonyms

health

Use synonyms

as well as their social life. If

people

Use synonyms

do not take

relax

Replace the word

relaxation

show examples

seriously, overwhelming disadvantages will hunt them down. I would argue to pay more attention to

reduce

Wrong verb form

reducing

show examples

working time and

spend

Wrong verb form

spending

show examples

more time for

relax

Change the verb form

relaxing

show examples

activities with ourselves and

families

Correct pronoun usage

our families

show examples

Submitted by yokoyoko.ye on Wed Dec 21 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantage or more disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Governments should focus their spending on public services rather than on the art (e.g. Music and painting). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Kids are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

Nowadays people are living increasing an increasing longer life and in many countries, there are more old people than young people. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Nowadays,many people choose to be self-employed, than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self employed?