Some people believe that professional workers such as doctors and teachers should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities.
This
essay argued that vital professional workers
such
as doctors
and teachers
should receive more money than persons in Correct article usage
the sport
sport
and entertainment fields. Their Fix the agreement mistake
sports
salary
need
to be moreChange the verb form
needs
,
because they save Remove the comma
apply
people
and give them necessary
education or other staff.
Correct article usage
the necessary
Firstly
, professional workers
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
doctors
have more impact in
Change preposition
on
people
's life. They are the ones, who actually save people
and give them an important treatment, which can prevent disease. Meanwhile, teachers
and professions
, who Replace the word
professionals
gives
Correct subject-verb agreement
give
a
education Remove the article
apply
for
future professional Change preposition
to
workers
are
need to be paid more. There is no secret, that a society experience lack of professionals in their sphere.If Unnecessary verb
apply
government
wants to increase the Add an article
the government
amount
of professional Change the quantifier
number
workers
, they need to concentrate a
resources on Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
workers
, who they really need .The more salary
will make this
jobs more attractive, so Correct determiner usage
these
they
young Correct your spelling
the
childrens
would try to be Correct your spelling
children
a
persons, who impact Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
a
society in Remove the article
apply
proper
way. They are not many Add an article
a proper
the proper
people
who wanted to be a doctor, teacher or firefighter, but mostly
Correct your spelling
most
child
prefer jobs, which may seem more fun and Fix the agreement mistake
children
profite
. Correct your spelling
profit
profits
profitable
However
, this
jobs could be fun too, but it Correct determiner usage
these
is still need
to admit that the Change the verb form
still needs
salary
of professional football, soccer
players is dramatically more. Correct word choice
and soccer
Moreover
, they receive a
insane popularity, while Remove the article
apply
people
don't know much
famous Correct quantifier usage
many
doctors
or teachers
.
Secondly
, people
in fields like sport and entertainment is
now important as Correct subject-verb agreement
are
it
may seem. Their main function is Correct pronoun usage
they
give
emotions to Fix the infinitive
to give
people
, but it doesn't make them significant. Doctors
and teachers
are way more in
Change preposition
of
high
priority. But Correct article usage
a high
school
, particularly in America concentrate on students who have shown Fix the agreement mistake
schools
a
good results in sports, so they even could win a grant to a prestige university or Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
colleges
, while Fix the agreement mistake
college
persons
, who have amazing marks don't receive Replace the word
people
such
help.
So teenagers seriously want to get into Add an article
the sport
sport
, which causes a lack of Fix the agreement mistake
sports
workers
. In hospitals, people
need registrate
on sites and include themselves on Correct your spelling
registration
doctor's
Correct article usage
the doctor's
schedule
or they need to wait for hours and hours to be Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
finally
treated. Additionally
, less salary
causes sadness among workers
about the choice of their job, because the
may experience huge financial problems. Their emotions straightly affect Correct your spelling
they
on
their performance, so they treat not properly.
Overall, professional Change preposition
apply
workers
need to be paid more.It will motivate childrens
and teenagers to Correct your spelling
children
children's
became
Change the form of the verb
become
doctors
and teachers
and employees to work better, which will help to solve a
issue of lack of professionals in their fields and it will increase the quality of education and treatment.Change the article
an
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Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.