Many parents complain that computer games have no value to their children's study. On the contrary, those online games have produced a lot of negative effects on their mental and physical development. What is your opinion?

#parents #computer #games #value #children #study #effects #development

Nowadays,

computer

games

are popular in our society, and most

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apply

show examples

children

Add an article

the children

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plays

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play

show examples

this

type of game every day. But parents do not allow

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apply

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their children to play

computer

games

. It is because they believe that

computer

games

have no advantage to their children's education and

playing

Correct word choice

that playing

show examples

this game

Fix the agreement mistake

these games

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is a waste of time. But truly,

computer

games

produce a lot of terrible effects

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show examples

youngers

Correct your spelling

younger

show examples

, like

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show examples

decline

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show examples

their mental and physical development. It

also

Submitted by soominkim0618 on Sun Dec 25 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

78 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many parents complain that computer games have no value to their children's study. On the contrary, those online games have produced a lot of negative effects on their mental and physical development. What is your opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

There is a public park near where you live. You have heard that the local council wants to sell this park. Write a letter to a local newspaper. In your letter • Introduce yourself • Describe the importance of the park • Say what action you will take if the council continues with this plan

Write about the following topic: ‘Children do not respect their parents as much as they did in the past. This behaviour is now having a negative impact on society.’ Discuss. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education, and that governments should make it free for students, no matter what financial bike round they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree?