IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people believe that teenagers should focus on all school subjects while others think that they should concentrate on the subjects where they do the best or find the most interesting. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #teenagers #focus #school #subjects
PARENTS MUST NEED TO GIVE ENOUGH EDUCATION UNTIL THEIR CHILDREN TURN 18 YEARS OLD. BECAUSE
OF
Correct pronoun usage
THISOF
show examples
, EVERYONE NEEDS TO SEE
SCHOOL
LIFE
 AND STUDY ON SOME
LIFE
SUBJECTS
, IN BETWEEN, THEY SHOULD NEED TO CHECK WHICH IS THE BEST FIELD OR ACTIVITIES, WHOSE THEY WANT TO DO MORE AND MORE ON A DAILY BASIS.
TO BEGIN
 WITH,IN
SCHOOL
LIFE
, STUDENTS NEED TO STUDY MANY
SUBJECTS
 AT
ONE
TIME
.
THUS
, SOME TEENAGERS WILL BECOME BORED WITH THEIR STUDIES.BUT,
THIS
 IS THE RESPONSIBILITY OF PARENTS AND
ALSO
 TEACHERS, WHO STUDY AND GIVE THEM DIRECTION IN THEIR
LIFE
. AS WELL AS , THEY NEED TO ALWAYS TRY TO MAKE THEM INTERESTED IN A
SCHOOL
LIFE
.
SCHOOL
SUBJECTS
 ARE ALWAYS NECESSARY OR USEFUL AFTER
SCHOOL
LIFE
 FOR MAKING A GOOD CAREER. THERE ARE MANY PEOPLE WHO DO NOT EVEN COMPLETE THEIR PRIMARY
SCHOOL
. AS A CONSEQUENCE, THEY ARE FACING MANY PROBLEMS IN A JOB PLACE OR IN MATURE
LIFE
. A PERIOD OF ADOLESCENCE IS A VERY IMPORTANT
TIME
 OF
LIFE
. FROM
THIS
 POINT, THEY HAVE A GOOD
TIME
 FOR CHOOSING THEIR CAREER. LIKE, WHAT THEY WANT TO DO IN A ADULT
TIME
 , AND HOW THEY WANT TO SEE THEMSELVES IN FRONT OF THE COMPETITIVE WORLD.
ALSO
, IN WHICH FIELD THEY ARE MORE INTERESTED OR WHAT DO THEY WANT TO LIKE TO DO MOST
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 BECAUSE EVERY MIND IS NOT THE SAME OR EVERYONE ARE NOT SPECIAL IN
ONE
 SPECIATION FIELD. THEY
ALSO
 NEED TO GIVE SOME
TIME
 IN WHICH THEY ARE MOST TALENTED. IN A CONCLUSION, I WANT TO SAY THAT BOTH ARE THE IMPORTANT FOR MINORS AGES, OWING TO
SCHOOL
SUBJECTS
 DO NOT TAKE PLACE OF
ONE
 SPECIFIC ACTIVITY OR
ONE
 SPECIAL TALENT OR HOBBIES DO NOT COVER THE
SCHOOL
SUBJECTS
.
Submitted by banseepatel444 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: