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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people think that famous people can help international aid organisations to draw attention to important problems. Others believe that the celebrities can make the problems seem less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #aid #organisations #attention #celebrities
While it has been
arguing
Wrong verb form
argued
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 that eminent
people
 can collaborate with international aid centres to highlight major problems, some
people
 claim that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
celebrities
 diminish the significance of these issues. I agree with the former ones and I explain both views in detail as follows: I am of the opinion that famous
people
 play a crucial
rule
Correct your spelling
role
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 in increasing awareness
nations
Change preposition
among nations
show examples
 about the prevailing problems all over the world. Being followed by a myriad of individuals on social networking websites or applications, these
celebrities
 facilitate the flow and dissemination of information. Since proponents of famous
people
 imitate their path and live as
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prestigious
people
, every main message on their social profile would be tweeted forthwith and a wide range of
people
 all around the world will be cognisant of
after
Correct pronoun usage
it after
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 a short while.
However
,
second
Change the article
the second
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 group believe that
celebrities
 have a reverse effect on issues and make them seem less major. Their reason is that life of these
people
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 constantly controlled by
paparazzi
Correct article usage
the paparazzi
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 and reporters
therefore
 if they have some antisocial behaviour
such
 as
use
Wrong verb form
using
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drug
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drugs
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 or
commit
Wrong verb form
committing
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 a crime,
reputation
Correct article usage
the reputation
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 of
international
Correct article usage
the international
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 aid
organisation
Fix the agreement mistake
organisations
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 will be under threat of destruction. In my view,
such
 organisations are aware of these problems and choose prominent
people
 with
good
Add an article
a good
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 professional
record
Fix the agreement mistake
records
show examples
. To sum up, I side with advocates of cooperation between
celebrities
 and international aid centres as they are well-known among
people
 and their day-to-day life
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 perused by
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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