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Band 5

In some countries, more and more adults choose to continue living with their parents after they graduate and find jobs. Do you think the benefits outweigh its drawbacks?

#countries #adults #parents #graduate #jobs
Due to the high cost/price of accommodation, a growing number of people decide to stay with their
parents
, even after graduation and
starting
Change the form of the verb
start
show examples
 working in some countries. I think the trend has more negative outcomes than benefits. To start with, from those adults’ perspective, there is no doubt that staying with their
parents
 can reduce living expenses, as they do not need to pay for rents and utility bills. In
this
 way,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fresh graduates can save more money for their future.
However
, there are various
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
disadvantages associated with living with
parents
.
Firstly
 of all, youngsters would become
over rely
Add a hyphen
over-rely
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 on their
parents
 in
this
 scenario. It is quite common for
parents
 to spoil their children nowadays, and
thus
 many adults lack
necessary
Correct article usage
the necessary
show examples
 life skills.
Keep
Wrong verb form
Keeping
show examples
 living with
parents
 only is going to make it worse. In comparison, if people live independently, they would mature quickly, which means learning how to adapt to society
quick
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quickly
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 and handle difficult problems on their own.
Moreover
, it is not always easy for different generations to live together because of
generation
Add an article
the generation
a generation
show examples
 gap. Having
different
Correct article usage
a different
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lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
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 may
results
Change the verb form
result
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 in tension between
parents
 and their children.
For instance
,
young
Add an article
the young
a young
show examples
 generation is used to
stay
Wrong verb form
staying
show examples
 up late at night which is
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 opposite timetable as
older
Add an article
the older
show examples
 generation. On the one hand, for
parents
, it would lead to many health issues;
on the other hand
, children would feel
parents
 interfere with their freedom. To conclude, though living with
parents
Correct pronoun usage
my parents
show examples
 after graduation has some benefits, I am strongly concerned about its drawback.
Submitted by yokoyoko.ye on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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