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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

In many countries, people like to eat a wider variety of food than can be grown in their local area. As a result, much of the food people eat today has to come from other regions. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh disadvantages?

#countries #people #variety #food #area #regions #development
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Does eating
food
 from other regions have an effect on the people and their own
food
 culture? I think that the advantages of foreign
food
 outweigh the disadvantages of foods
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
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Food
 variations around the
world
 are very wide. By eating
food
 from foreign countries a person will experience a lot of different things and their
food
 pallet will be widened.
Also
 by trying different
world
 kitchens it will automatically encourage a person to take interest in that country and in what
food
 they are making, their cooking technique. One of the biggest advantages of
food
 is that it gathers people so you can meet other people from different countries and there is already a thing to talk about.
On the other hand
by
Change preposition
apply
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eating
food
 from foreign countries because of the wide assortment of foods. Traditional foods in your own region are forgotten. Because a person gets obsessed and has to try out all the cuisines of the
world
. In conclusion, eating
food
 from other
regions
Change noun form
regions'
region's
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 advantages outweigh
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
. Because eating
food
 from all over the
world
 not only evolves your taste pallet, you get cultural knowledge about that country,
improve
Correct word choice
and improve
show examples
 your social skills .
Submitted by oimigle on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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