IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

the numbers of men and women attending various evening courses at an adult education centre in the year 2009. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below.

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The given graphs present gender and
age
Use synonyms
 statistics of visiting different evening courses, which are offered by the adult education centres during 2009. According to the pie
chart
Add a comma
,chart
show examples
 there were five
age
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 groups and the highest share of visitors was amongst people aged 50 and more(42 %), whilst approximately a quarter of attendees
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 in their forties.The centre was less popular amongst young people,
for example
Linking Words
,there were 16% of those in their thirties and even fewer ( 11%) in the
age
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 of 20-29 years. The minority of visitors are youth under 20 years(only 5%). Looking into types of activities undertaken by different gender categories, the biggest proportion of women preferred
language
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 and painting( 40 and 30 respectively),half of them enjoyed drama and only 5- sculpture. Turning to men, most of them preferred painting(25), and
language
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 (20) and 10 of them chose drama and sculpture ,which 50% of once ,who visited
language
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 courses. Overall, there were people of a variety of
age
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 and gender groups ,visiting the centre,
however
Linking Words
,it was the most popular amongst the elderly and middle-aged ones and the most attended activities were
language
Use synonyms
 and painting

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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