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Band 4

Nowadays, the number of obese children is increasing at an alarming rate. What are some of the causes of this increase and how can the problem be solved?

#children #rate
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There is an argument that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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museums
Use synonyms
 becoming obsolete due to
availability
Correct article usage
the availability
show examples
 of comprehensive knowledge on
culture
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 and
history
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 in
ciber
Correct your spelling
cyber
 space.
Humongous
Correct article usage
A humongous
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 amount of
information
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 on
above
Correct article usage
the above
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 topics
are
Change the verb form
is
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 freely accessible via
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internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 from home without taking
trouble
Add an article
the trouble
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 to visit a museum and pay an entrance fee to gain similar
information
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
, it is fair to question the value of
existence
Add an article
the existence
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 of
museums
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 in today's context.
On the contrary
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,
museums
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 provide irreplaceable advantages
such
Linking Words
 as actual living
Use synonyms
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
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 based on specimens and the possibility of
further
Linking Words
 studying them.
Therefore
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, I strongly disagree with the idea that the
information
Use synonyms
 available on
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 can overturn the value of
museums
Use synonyms
 in providing facts on
history
Use synonyms
 and
culture
Use synonyms
.
First
Linking Words
 of all,
museums
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 provide
living
Correct article usage
a living
show examples
Use synonyms
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
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 in displayed items as opposed to
virtual
Correct article usage
a virtual
show examples
Use synonyms
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
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in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
. As an example, some
museums
Use synonyms
 provide
Add an article
a replica
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replica
Fix the agreement mistake
replicas
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 of ancient hair looms and cuisines
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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spectators to try on. So that the individual can go back in time and live in the
history
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 and
experience
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 the
culture
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in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
first
Linking Words
-hand. Whereas, any amount of virtual display
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
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 can not compare to
Linking Words
such
Add an article
the such
a such
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live
Correct article usage
a live
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experience
Use synonyms
. Data on
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 can not outrun the benefit of having
live
Replace the word
life
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experience
Use synonyms
 in
museums
Use synonyms
.
Second
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 of all,
museums
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 provide solid evidence
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
history
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 and
culture
Use synonyms
 which are tangible to physical examination and
further
Linking Words
 studying.
Furthermore
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, scholars with permission can run tests on specimens and arrive at new
information
Use synonyms
. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
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example , carbon dating on
fissiles
Correct your spelling
fossils
fissile
missiles
 in
museums
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 carried out only years after their discovery.
Such
Linking Words
 studies enabled finding out the data on
geographical
Correct article usage
the geographical
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 location of certain extinct species. So that the new knowledge was acquired only because the
museums
Use synonyms
 kept the specimens preserved in their original state as opposed to static and
cross sectional
Add a hyphen
cross-sectional
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information
Use synonyms
 available
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
internet
Use synonyms
. In summary, despite having
enormous
Add an article
an enormous
show examples
 amount of
information
Use synonyms
 in the cloud space,
museums
Use synonyms
 are best suited for acquiring facts on
history
Use synonyms
 and
culture
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
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,
museums
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 provide actual
experience
Use synonyms
 and keep avenues open for
further
Linking Words
 studies in historical and cultural topics outrunning the value of digital
information
Use synonyms
 available
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I strongly disagree that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
museums
Use synonyms
 are dispensable due to
availability
Correct article usage
the availability
show examples
 of comprehensive knowledge on similar topics
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
internet
Use synonyms
.
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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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