IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

write an opinion essay. What are some of the benefits of modern technology for health care services?

#technology #health #care #services
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We can not count
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 of modern technology that
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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profound
Add an article
a profound
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 impact on
people
Use synonyms
. As far back as in
twenties
Correct article usage
the twenties
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 century
people
Use synonyms
 were suffering
of
Change preposition
from
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 uncurable
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
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 and numerous
people
Use synonyms
 were dying.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 were thinking that the end of the world has came. None of
doctors
Add an article
the doctors
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were
Change the verb form
was
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not
Rewrite the sentence
apply
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able to find the right answer.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
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 as time went on and modern technology
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 been improved
solvation
Correct your spelling
salvation
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of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 diseases
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 actual. Scientist and engineers do their best in order to
spotting
Change the verb
spot
show examples
 new devices which
very
Add a missing verb
is very
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 crucial. Owing to that appliances doctors are able to find out
Add an article
a disease
the disease
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disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
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 that
unknown
Add a missing verb
are unknown
show examples
 to science. When it comes to talking about disadvantages there is
only
Add an article
the only
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thing
Correct pronoun usage
one thing
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 that
in
Change preposition
apply
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order to apply modern
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
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 that provided
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
everything is very expensive,
therefore
Linking Words
significant
Change the article
a significant
the significant
show examples
 number of
people
Use synonyms
 can not take advantage of applying to hospitals. In order to apply whether you must pay a lot of money or use insurance.
Submitted by malikli.malik1995 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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