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Band 6

Many countries have compulsory military service for men after they leave school. It would be a good idea to adopt this system, for men and possibly women. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#countries #service #men #school #idea #system #women
Needless to say, military
service
 is the pillar of the countries to protect the citizen of
people
.
However
, someplace have mandatory to attend military school after they complete school ,especially in developing countries like Iran. From my perspective, adopting
this
 system helps children to learn life lessons. In
this
 essay, I will elaborate on the beneficial and adverse aspects of
this
 trend and
thus
 lead to a logical conclusion. There is adequate evidence
is
Correct pronoun usage
that is
show examples
 obtainable for the substantiated reasons. The top-notch reason is attending military
service
, we can learn about many skills
such
 as discipline, time management and many more which are paramount in life. To put
in other words
, some teenagers have bad habitats
such
 as smoking
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and drinking.
Therefore
, joining
Correct article usage
the
show examples
military
service
, more chances to give up bad habits. The rearmost coherent factor to be considered which cannot be neglected that attending
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
military
service
, and increasing the number of resources in the military base, which adds strength to the nation.
On the other hand
, a limited number of resources in the other sectors creates a catastrophic problem for society.
For instance
, without skilled doctors and a limited number of resources, it's difficult to treat patients.
In addition
, some
people
 don't meet the eligibility to meet joining in the military
service
 due to a lack of stamina and physical strength.
Hence
, it is apparent why many
people
 are against
this
 trend. In recapitulation, I reiterate that there are innumerable strong factors supporting that attending
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
military
service
 has a lot of benefits to the country.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 each citizen has a human right to choose their own career in a democratic country,
therefore
 the nation should not force the citizen of the
people
 to join the military
service
.
Consequently
, I will firmly disagree with the given statement
Submitted by dhivyaravi0396 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Compulsory
  • Military service
  • Conscription
  • Patriotism
  • National security
  • Social equality
  • Discipline
  • Physical fitness
  • Life skills
  • Job training
  • Infringement
  • Conscripts
  • Gender equality
  • Mandatory
  • Economy
  • Education system
  • Labor market
  • Civil service
  • Alternative forms
  • Balanced view
What to do next:
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