IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

These days, people prefer to throw damaged items away, while in the past, they used to repair and use things for a long time. Why do you think this change has happened? What are the effects of this change?

It is true that
people
Use synonyms
 in industrialised nations prefer to replace their broken
items
Use synonyms
 with brand-new
products
Use synonyms
 rather than fix them. In
this
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 essay, I will explain the reasons for
this
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 and how
this
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 tendency has some negative effects.
Firstly
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, mass production from factories produces more product options for consumers. If the
people
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 who broke their
items
Use synonyms
 even replaced the
items
Use synonyms
 for some reason, they can purchase a new item easily from grocery stores or e-commerce websites.
Secondly
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, many
products
Use synonyms
 have to
repair
Wrong verb form
be repaired
show examples
 by professionals who have special equipment and facilities at a higher price.
For example
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, the tools for repairing consumer electronic
products
Use synonyms
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as speakers and
headphones
Punctuation problem
headphones,
show examples
 are special and professional knowledge is needed. Even repairing the item is more expensive than buying a new product.
Hence
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, many
people
Use synonyms
 do become accustomed to throwing away the crashed stuff.
Finally
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, the advertisements
acts
Correct subject-verb agreement
act
show examples
 as a strong persuasion to hypnotise
people
Use synonyms
 into buying new goods.
Therefore
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,
people
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 have more options to replace their old and broken
items
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instead
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 of repairing and refurbishing them. The most important consequence of
this
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 behaviour is that all the raw and natural materials
such
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 as trees, metal and fossil fuels are consumed quickly
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 destroys the global
ecology
Replace the word
ecological
show examples
 system.
Furthermore
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, more industrial waste is produced
come
Wrong verb form
comes
show examples
 at a huge cost to the governments to process abandoned
products
Use synonyms
 and non-degradable materials. It will be a burden for governments and green organisations to solve the pollution problems and
rise
Verb problem
incur
show examples
 a large expenditure. In conclusion, several potential reasons cause
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon, and it brings negative impacts to our future.

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structure
Make each idea clear in one part. Use one big idea in each paragraph.
examples
Give a real, simple example for each idea. Use small facts or numbers.
grammar
Use short, plain words. Break long sentences into two.
cohesion
Link ideas with plain words like and, but, also, then so readers see the flow.
content
You state the reason for the change and its effect.
method
You use clear marks like Firstly, Secondly, Finally.
structure
Your essay has an opening and a closing.
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