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Band 2.5

people these days can buy various goods on the Internet.Do you think the benefits of this trend outweigh its drawbacks?

#people #goods #internet #trend
The popularity of online shopping.All kinds of
goods
 can
bought
Change the verb form
be bought
show examples
 on the internet。
This
 can make our shopping more convenient.
This
 trend has many benefits,
through
Correct word choice
though
show examples
 there are some
problems
 that should not be ignored. Fortunately,
consumers
 can easily buy most products,they want.After the
goods
 are bought online. Will
be send
Change the verb form
be sent
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 to the door,for
consumers
 to save some time and energy.Undeniable，shopping internet enables
consumer
Fix the agreement mistake
consumers
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compare
Add the particle
to compare
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 the prices of
goods
 and find a good price。Because
open
Replace the word
opening
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online
Correct article usage
an online
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 store
to save
Change the verb form
saves
show examples
labor
Change the spelling
labour
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，rent and other costs. Shops on the internet make us
easily
Replace the word
easier
show examples
 for us to shop online。
For example
，
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
“Taobao”App，many businesses are open 24 hours a day，so if we want。we can buy
goods
Correct article usage
the goods
show examples
 we want at
anytime
Replace the word
any time
show examples
。We don't have to wait for a long time. We can receive the
goods
 quickly.
However
, shopping online may
also
 cause some
problems
.
Consumers
 can buy bad
goods
，
Remove the comma
apply
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 because
deal
Add an article
the deal
a deal
show examples
 is in a virtual space. We can only see pictures on the Internet, we can't touch or see them,
it's
Correct word choice
and it's
show examples
 hard to say
that
Correct word choice
whether
show examples
 it's good or bad. When things are bad, we have more
problems
.
Therefore
,
consumers
 should pay more attention to caused
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 online shopping. To sum up,
although
 many people accept online shopping, I am very concerned about the
problems
 of
this
 mode.
Submitted by 97151035 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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