IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Establishing good relationships in the workplace is not important, as the primary goal of every person is to focus on work. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#relationships #workplace #person #focus #work
Some
people
 opine that establishing good
relationships
 in the
workplace
 is quite substantial.
However
, others argue that since
work
 is worship, it is crucial to prioritize it over relations.
This
 essay will elucidate both views along with my assertions that focusing on
work
 should be the foremost goal of an individual in order to grow in an organization. Nowadays, corporates consider employee engagement imperative in building employee satisfaction.
Also
, a portion of the employee segment believes that creating and maintaining good
relationships
 works in their favour. It makes them feel motivated and energetic at the
workplace
.
Hence
, they
also
 organize various cultural events that enhance team building and coordination. To exemplify, for an extrovert individual, establishing and nurturing good rapport with colleagues at and outside the
workplace
 helps in performing better. It could
also
 help the person in getting a promotion at
work
 because of maintaining efficient terms with the manager.
By contrast
, some organizations these days conduct meditation camps for their workers so that they can concentrate better at
work
 and not get distracted.
Moreover
, they believe that as a worker gets paid for his job, it is his duty to consider
work
 as a primary goal rather than anything else. Some organizations restrict break timeouts to ensure that
people
 do not waste time in the organisations that restrict break timeouts so as to ensure that
people
 do not waste time in the canteen.
Further
, they feel that creating good
relationships
 could drift them from concentrating on their job and their goals.
Additionally
, to exemplify,
this
 kind of environment could be a motivating factor for an introvert who would prefer engrossing himself at
work
 as compared to going to an office party.
Such
people
 believe that it is their efforts at
work
 that will gain them recognition and help them in getting up the ladder. Definitely, in my opinion, focusing on
work
 as well as establishing
relationships
 at the
workplace
 are beneficial for any worker.
However
, it is important not to sideline one's job over a connection because
work
 is what we get paid for and it is our primary responsibility to earn profits for the employer rather than creating
relationships
 that could deviate us from our aim.
Submitted by prabhunisha0994 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: