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Writing Samples
Band 4

It is a good thing if senior management workers in a company get a much high salery than other workers in tha same company. Do you agree or disagree?

#management #workers #company #salery #tha
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is not stranger to see that the senior management corps usually receive the highest
payment
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 than the youngest one, and the answer to the question "is it
right
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?" cannot be an easy yes or not. Of ,course a person which works in the same company for a long
time
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 has got more knologemengt than news
workers
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 so in
this
Linking Words
 case is
right
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 that the
first
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 receives more money than the others. Probably has more
work
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 to do and
also
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 more responsibility to respond. In spite
of
Correct pronoun usage
thisof
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, is important to specify that in many cases the situation is completely different: the senior
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workers
Change to a genitive case
worker's
workers'
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 abuse
of
Change preposition
apply
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other
workers
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, even if maybe the seconds spend more hours at
work
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 with
a
Change the article
the
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 lowest
payment
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. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 type of
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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. Indeed, in my opinion, is important to guarantee
a
Correct article usage
the
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right
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 career and
payment
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 for all types of
workers
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, because is correct that everyone has the same possibility of lifestyle and personal/
work
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 career.
For instance
Linking Words
, if a fresh graduate starts to
work
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 in a company, of
course
Add the comma(s)
,course
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 his salary will be lower
that
Correct word choice
than
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 colleagues because they have more experience or certification or responsibility. At the same
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time
Add a comma
,time
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 his salary must be decent, in respect of his person, his studies and his
time
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. in ,
addition
Replace the word
add
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 the employer must guarantee
to
Change preposition
apply
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him a good possibility of
career
Correct article usage
a career
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 by selecting one senior worker that will teach him all the most important skills and secrets to complete well his task. At the same ,
time
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 the candidate has to show
a
Correct article usage
apply
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real concentration, interest and commitment to what he does.
Therefore
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, my idea of an ideal
work
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 salary is based on good cooperation between the most expert worker and the new one to provide a good future for the company. Both positions must be retribution in
a
Correct article usage
the
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right
Use synonyms
 way
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and recognize results,
time
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, studies, certification and skills that each singular worker owns and puts into his job. In ,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclusion I agree only if ,actually the senior management
workers
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 deserve
this
Linking Words
 highest
payment
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 because of their irreplaceable contribution.
Submitted by miryam.i.dedea on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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