Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television has destroyed communication among friends and family. Use specific reasons and examples to support your option.

Now, In
this
global era, It seems to be really true that the conversation of neighbours could be diminished because of
television
. The reason is that
Tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
would provide more exhilaration for
people
. In
this
manuscript, I
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
elucidate these points on why
people
are madly involved
to watch
Change preposition
in watching
show examples
television
and provide a clear conclusion. To commence with, In
this
current generation,
showing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
people
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
pragmatically adopted technology which can be influenced by children. It is relevant to point out that
people
could be utilized to watch
television
which gives being more relaxed
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
instead
of imparting with friends and families.
For instance
, In many
Tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
shows,
people
would learn educationally wise and environmentally orientated.
On the other hand
,
Television
has vanished because
people
are tremendously addicted to watching
Tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
which is presumably harmful to them. It is true that most of them would frequently watch
television
for a prolonged time.
Nevertheless
, it can effortlessly affect their eyesight immensely. For epitome, In many nations could be prohibited for children to watch
television
because they
would
Verb problem
have
show examples
wear
Wrong verb form
worn
show examples
contact lenses or glasses since their childhood. Understandably, many of the points above have stated that there could
have
Verb problem
be
show examples
both pros and cons
while
visiting
Tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
. In my opinion,
people
should
impart
Verb problem
interact
show examples
with friends and families rather than
Tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
because we could gather umpteen superior things with more relaxation.
Hence
,
people
should spend time with their family members
instead
of using
television
and should not visit
Tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
constantly and utilize it in an effective way.
Submitted by zulaihaajmal on

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task response
The essay provides a partially clear response to the prompt, but the reasoning is not well-developed or fully relevant. More specific examples and clear reasoning are needed to improve task achievement.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but lack thorough development. The essay lacks a clear organizational structure, and the ideas are not effectively linked between paragraphs. Work on making the ideas flow more smoothly for better coherence and cohesion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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