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Writing Samples
Band 5

In today's competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parent's absence. Discussion

5.0 / 9
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Introduction
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Presence
Pressence
Correct article usage
The pressence
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
parent's
Change the noun form
parents
parent
show examples
 is essential in
children
Use synonyms
's development.
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Parent's
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Parents
show examples
 have plenty of
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
show examples
 to look after their
kids
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. Some people said both
Use synonyms
parent's
Change the noun form
parents
parent
show examples
 have to go to
work
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 to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
Use synonyms
children's
Correct pronoun usage
their children's
show examples
 needs, while
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 said it is not a good way to look after the
Use synonyms
children's
Change noun form
children
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explain
regarding
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apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 issue and provide a solution in the following
pharagraph
Correct your spelling
paragraph
paragraphs
.
Body paragraph 1
fulfilling what the
Use synonyms
children's
Change noun form
children
show examples
 need is an obligation to parents. Somehow they have to do extra
work
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 to earn some money. And for some
families
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, not only the father
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
work
Change the verb form
works
show examples
 for cash,
Linking Words
Correct word choice
but
show examples
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 the mother does it
aswell
Correct your spelling
as well
. It
is happen
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happens
show examples
 sometime with middle
lower-class
Correct word choice
and lower-class
show examples
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
. The advantages of
this
Linking Words
 kind of family are probably they could
fulfill
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fulfil
show examples
 their needs and save
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money for the
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kids
Change noun form
kid's
kids'
show examples
 future, Whether it is for their education or others that important.
Body paragraph 2
on the other hand
Linking Words
,
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children's
Change noun form
children
show examples
 who
does
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do
show examples
 not have really much time with their
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parent's
Change noun form
parents
show examples
 while growing up
finds
Change the verb form
find
show examples
Correct article usage
a mentally
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mentally
Change the word
mental
show examples
 lack of support.
pressence
Correct your spelling
presence
 of
Use synonyms
parent's
Change the noun form
parents
parent
show examples
 is important to
Use synonyms
children's
Change noun form
children
show examples
 in
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 youth age.
Evenmore
Correct your spelling
Even more
,
kids
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 need guidance while growing up.
For instance
Linking Words
, based on
scientis
Correct your spelling
scientific
 research,
teenages
Correct your spelling
teenagers
 that grew up without the
pressence
Correct your spelling
presence
 of their
Use synonyms
parent's
Change noun form
parents
show examples
are finds
Change the verb form
are found
are finding
show examples
 difficult to get along with society than someone who got
fully
Replace the word
full
show examples
 support from their
families
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.
Conclusion
To summarize,
families
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 that do both parents
work
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 more financially
stabble
Correct your spelling
stable
 rather than
Use synonyms
parent's
Change noun form
parents
show examples
 who does not.
However
Linking Words
, Most of their
kids
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finds
Change the verb form
find
show examples
hard
Correct pronoun usage
it hard
show examples
 to adapt
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their environment because of
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
their parent's
show examples
parent's
Fix the agreement mistake
parents'
show examples
 absence.
This
Linking Words
 essay has
discuss
Change the verb form
discussed
show examples
 which are important for
families
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 and
kids
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. Now it is time for us to look after our
kids
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
Correct article usage
a propher
show examples
propher
Correct your spelling
proper
 way.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • dual-income households
  • standard of living
  • extra-curricular activities
  • private education
  • financial stability
  • independence
  • responsibility
  • emotional support
  • academic support
  • parental guidance
  • strain on family relationships
  • external caregivers
  • flexible working hours
  • work-from-home opportunities
  • quality time management
  • balanced approach
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