IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In today's competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parent's absence. Discussion

#world #families #parents #work #say #children #benefit #income #lack #support #parent #absence #discussion
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Correct your spelling
Presence
Pressence
Correct article usage
The pressence
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 of
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parent's
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parents
parent
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 is essential in
children
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's development.
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Parent's
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Parents
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 have plenty of
way
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ways
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 to look after their
kids
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. Some people said both
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parent's
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parents
parent
show examples
 have to go to
work
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 to
fulfill
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fulfil
show examples
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children's
Correct pronoun usage
their children's
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 needs, while
other
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others
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 said it is not a good way to look after the
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children's
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children
show examples
.
This
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 essay will explain
regarding
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apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 issue and provide a solution in the following
pharagraph
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paragraph
paragraphs
. fulfilling what the
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children's
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children
show examples
 need is an obligation to parents. Somehow they have to do extra
work
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 to earn some money. And for some
families
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, not only the father
that
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apply
show examples
Use synonyms
work
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works
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 for cash,
Linking Words
Correct word choice
but
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however
Add a comma
,however
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 the mother does it
aswell
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as well
. It
is happen
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happens
show examples
 sometime with middle
lower-class
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and lower-class
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family
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families
show examples
. The advantages of
this
Linking Words
 kind of family are probably they could
fulfill
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fulfil
show examples
 their needs and save
the
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apply
show examples
money for the
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kids
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kid's
kids'
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 future, Whether it is for their education or others that important.
on the other hand
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,
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children's
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children
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 who
does
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do
show examples
 not have really much time with their
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parent's
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parents
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 while growing up
finds
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find
show examples
Correct article usage
a mentally
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mentally
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mental
show examples
 lack of support.
pressence
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presence
 of
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parent's
Change the noun form
parents
parent
show examples
 is important to
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children's
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children
show examples
 in
the
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their
show examples
 youth age.
Evenmore
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Even more
,
kids
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 need guidance while growing up.
For instance
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, based on
scientis
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scientific
 research,
teenages
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teenagers
 that grew up without the
pressence
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presence
 of their
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parent's
Change noun form
parents
show examples
are finds
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are found
are finding
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 difficult to get along with society than someone who got
fully
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full
show examples
 support from their
families
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. To summarize,
families
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 that do both parents
work
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 more financially
stabble
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stable
 rather than
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parent's
Change noun form
parents
show examples
 who does not.
However
Linking Words
, Most of their
kids
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finds
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find
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hard
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it hard
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 to adapt
with
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to
show examples
 their environment because of
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Correct pronoun usage
their parent's
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parent's
Fix the agreement mistake
parents'
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 absence.
This
Linking Words
 essay has
discuss
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discussed
show examples
 which are important for
families
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 and
kids
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. Now it is time for us to look after our
kids
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
Correct article usage
a propher
show examples
propher
Correct your spelling
proper
 way.
Submitted by dhaniwicaksono26 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • dual-income households
  • standard of living
  • extra-curricular activities
  • private education
  • financial stability
  • independence
  • responsibility
  • emotional support
  • academic support
  • parental guidance
  • strain on family relationships
  • external caregivers
  • flexible working hours
  • work-from-home opportunities
  • quality time management
  • balanced approach
What to do next:
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