IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Working hours today are too long and people are not spending as much time as they should with their families or on leisure activities.

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As far
I
Correct word choice
as I
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am concerned,I feel the same.Nowadays,working hours are prolonged.
Therefore
Linking Words
,the recruits don't have enough time to interact with their blood relations as well as in extra-circular activities.
This
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 leads to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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misbelief among the family members. In the past,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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 people worked delightfully without any interior compulsion,
further
Linking Words
 they don't
bothered
Change the verb form
bother
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 about the working hours and put up with their workload.Unfortunately,the trend has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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changed over the years.
For instance
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,the
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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commenced to do work at
the
Correct article usage
apply
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night,as
a
Correct article usage
apply
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night-shift duty.
This
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 interchanged their circadian rhythm and habitual behaviour in
day-break
Correct your spelling
daybreak
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.
As a result
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,it increases the risk of developing diabetes,heart disease and obesity.
Except
Add the preposition
forExcept
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 the government
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
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,all other private company sector recruits are not paid as much as they expected in salary.Despite that,they are compelled to work as a machine without any leave
in-between
Correct your spelling
in between
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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working days.
For example
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,The private school teachers are well turned out
to
Change preposition
in
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this
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 situation.These teachers only have
permission
Add an article
the permission
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of
Change preposition
for
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 7 days
as
Change preposition
of
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 medical leave throughout the year.If they took leave beyond
this
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,
then
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 their salary will be deducted.
Hence
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,it creates
a
Change the article
an
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 extra-pressure and
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of interest in their profession. In return,these problems build up a great impact on their health issue.
However
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,undertaking overtime jobs causes mental stress and
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 out clumsy.These employees won't have the mindset to pass out their time with families or in amusement because
workload
Correct article usage
the workload
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 makes them
to
Change the verb form
apply
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feel exhausted. In general,
complication
Fix the agreement mistake
complications
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 like
this
Linking Words
 will provide a way to live a detestable and
a
Remove the article
apply
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sorrowful life.These recruits would be in
ambiguous
Add an article
an ambiguous
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 state about their future life.Contemporary,the firm is looking for unlimited working time for the workers in the upcoming days.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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