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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not local people. Why is this the case and what can be done to attract more local people to visit these places?

#museums #sites #tourists #people #case #visit #places
There are controversial perspectives heating up a debate over whether history-related attractions have been usually visited by people from other places but not the indigenous
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
.
Therefore
, there are several problems leading to
this
 issue and we should adopt to resolve it. In terms of the reason why historical recruitments are more likely visited by tourists for a number of reasons.
Additionally
, people who live in the
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
 are more familiar with their traditional customs and history than others.
Thus
, they want to explore some exotic venues
where
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 they have never been to.
In addition
, the expense of entrance fees to these historical
sites
 may be quite unaffordable for many locals. Take the ancient citadel of Hue in Vietnam
for example
. When going to
this
 place, visitors have to pay approximately 7 dollars, which is a more suitable price for foreigners than Vietnamese citizens.
However
, the government around those
sites
 can take
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
show examples
 to address
this
 issue.
The first step is
 to rearrange appealing exhibits at those
sites
.
Besides
, another way that can be taken is to lower the admission fees or give discount tickets to the locals to encourage them to attend their adjacent historical recreations.
For example
,
BaNa
Correct your spelling
Bana
 Hills in Da Nang, which has stunning French castles from the 20s, has given their city dwellers 15
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 off tickets which is
such
 a bargain.
Hence
, citizens can visit the
sites
 more frequently. In conclusion, it is undeniable that many tourists have more interest in visiting museums and historical areas than regions do.
However
, there are many tactics that can be found to handle
this
 problem.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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task response
The introduction doesn't clearly address the task. It is important to clearly identify the problems and propose solutions in the introduction. Additionally, the conclusion can be improved by summarizing the main points and restating the solutions.
coherence and cohesion
The overall structure of the essay is somewhat unclear. It would be helpful to use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and follow a logical order of ideas. Additionally, transition words and phrases can be used to improve the cohesion of the essay.
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