IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Young people are often influenced by their peers. This is called peer group pressure. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #peers #peer #group #pressure
In most
case
Fix the agreement mistake
cases
show examples
,  youngsters are frequently
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
 by their
same age
Add a hyphen
same-age
show examples
 friends and it can be named
pressure
Correct article usage
the pressure
show examples
 of
peer
Correct article usage
a peer
show examples
 team.
This
 essay will examine both advantages and disadvantages side of impacting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
peers
 to others and provide a logical conclusion. Two main advantages side of having
peers
 are working with more competitive
feeling
Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
show examples
 and encouragement.
Firstly
, if children do participate or study
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
one
 place with some of the same age friends,
then
 it may run as  useful for them because they surely
be
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 opponent
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 each other at that time and it
create
Change the verb form
creates
show examples
 the perfect condition like competition, as
Add an article
a result
show examples
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
 they try to do the everything
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
better,
therefore
this
 can be quite a
worthile
Correct your spelling
worthwhile
worthily
 for like sport or study.
Moreover
, they are able to develop their own skills with the help of working with
peers
. Because of
duration
Add an article
the duration
a duration
show examples
 of studying or doing some interesting things, they always support their partner with some motivational words
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 commerce to reduce their own effectiveness.
However
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
also
 some negative
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
show examples
 of working with
peers
 like
effecting
Correct your spelling
affecting
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bad behaviour and
change
Wrong verb form
changing
show examples
 their environment.
Duration
Correct article usage
The duration
show examples
 of being with people who are the same age can be
significantly
Change the word
significant
show examples
 too for their behaviour.
That is
 to say
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if someone
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 their everything with
peers
 after they may
change
 their own conduct even which can be
role
Correct article usage
a role
show examples
 model person for others to worse
one
.
Furthermore
, by being together with
peers
 all the time,
one
 of them may
change
 their own environment to
strange
Correct article usage
a strange
show examples
one
, and it can create some challenges to anything
such
 as
speak
Wrong verb form
speaking
show examples
 with someone. To conclude,
although
 there are some advantages of working together with
peers
 like
change
Wrong verb form
changing
show examples
 the behaviour and environment, I feel that can be handy for them to do anything with high spirits.
Submitted by Premium Version on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: