IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Young people are often influenced by their peers. This is called peer group pressure. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #peers #peer #group #pressure
These days, a number of youngsters are being encouraged by their equals which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 confirmed as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
peer
 group
pressure
. From my point of view,
peer
pressure
 can be both, positive as well as negative but mostly it is positive and
this
 essay will provide
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
show examples
 and cons of
this
 issue.
First
 and foremost, there are a number of significant benefits of
peer
 encouragement since it can be a great deal of companionship and inspiration.
In addition
 to
this
, if peers
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better performance at
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
 or do their best in a sport
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
 they can influence those around them to be more productive.
For example
, according to the recent
survey's
Change noun form
survey
show examples
 results which were taken from schools,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of the students who have
showed
Change the verb form
shown
show examples
 a better performance after
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
peer
pressure
. Turning to the other side of the argument, despite some advantages, there are
also
 negative sides
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
peer
Add an article
the peer
a peer
show examples
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
.
Firstly
, there can be a number of negative influences of
peer
pressure
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 individuals according to the fact that
that
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
humans may not only
influenced
Change the verb form
be influenced
show examples
 by their performance but
also
 by their
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
For instance
, nowadays, majority of the youngsters are encountering some challenges to find a better
peer
 for themselves that can influence
positively
Correct pronoun usage
them positively
show examples
 since these days, it is difficult to find those who can be
real
Add an article
a real
show examples
 encouragement. To conclude, having weighed everything mentioned up, I can come to the conclusion
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that, despite some obvious disadvantages of
peer
pressure
 it can be influenced positively if you find the right person.
Submitted by Premium Version on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: