some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes ( for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The unpaid community plays
a
Change the article
an
show examples
important role in society. It is a great opportunity to consume information and knowledge from there. But, others reject
this
notion.
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
my, perspective the position
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
issue appears to be more rational. I strongly agree with
this
argument. In
this
, essay we will
further
elaborate on the positive effects of
this
trend and
thus
will lead to a logical conclusion. There are myriads of reasons which will
further
explain these arguments.yet, the most preponderant fact is that poor nations
such
as India, China, Indonesia,and, Nepal are not able to bestow education to the whole population. Another pivotal aspect is that it is vital for the prosperity of the country because children without skills
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
not adequate for the future of the region. Moving
further
, it is pertinent to mention that the article published in the eminent newspaper the Hindustan depicts that in Bhutan , most pupils living the below poverty line and unpaid community take responsibility to improve the literacy rate of the nation. Probing ahead, one of the main underlying reasons stems is that.
Although
, the most alarming one is that sports and neighbourhood are a significant part of
culture
Add an article
the culture
show examples
and
if
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
juveniles are not capable to perform
excellent
Change the adjective
excellently
show examples
in these things. It is a Shame to the country.
Besides
, games
are
Change the verb form
also represent
show examples
also
represent the potential influence of the area, where individuals live their life for, example
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
America is superior in
Olympics
Correct article usage
the Olympics
show examples
due to the fact unpaid workers
are always help
Change the verb form
are always helping
show examples
the players. In, addition the survey conducted by the prestigious university
Oxford
Change preposition
of Oxford
show examples
revealed that social groups and
charity
Fix the agreement mistake
charities
show examples
improving
Wrong verb form
improve
show examples
the
life
Replace the word
lives
show examples
of infants and toddlers who are
fascinating
Wrong verb form
fascinated
show examples
about
Change preposition
by
show examples
sports and
neighbourhood
Correct article usage
the neighbourhood
show examples
. In conclusion, according to the argument aforementioned above, one can reach a conclusion that the
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
of
this
trend are instrumental too great.
Submitted by naffey07 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory
  • high school programmes
  • unpaid community service
  • charity
  • improving the neighbourhood
  • teaching sports
  • sense of responsibility
  • empathy
  • broader perspective
  • societal issues
  • college applications
  • job applications
  • positive impact
What to do next:
Look at other essays: