IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Discuss both views and state the views.

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In
this
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 modern era,
people
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 are running at a rapid pace of development.
However
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, some
people
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 harbour a belief that needs to utilise spare
time
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 to involve in some activities to improve their skills while other
people
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 argue that relaxation is necessary for the human body. In
this
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 monograph, we discuss both aspects in more detail and
thus
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 lead to a logical conclusion. There is adequate evidence to obtainable the substantiated reasons. The top-notch concrete reason is that ability to engage
the
Correct article usage
apply
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one self
Correct your spelling
oneself
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 in games
such
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 as word puzzles and reading
of
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apply
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journals during a free period is essential. As
this
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 results in benefits
such
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 as mental clarity, improved reasoning, focus and apt decision making and ultimately, increased productivity.
For instance
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, a friend of mine, who started playing the game of chess in his prime, improved over
time
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, won
the
Correct article usage
a
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 chess medal and became more efficient in other spheres of life
For instance
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, high demands jobs are available for the creative mind and quick adapters in the markets. Another positive in
this
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 regard is that
,
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apply
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people
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 are enriched in knowledge. can easily get a high-packed salary.
Hence
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, it's apparent why many
people
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 stand in
this
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 trend. We know as a half full for others may appear as empty half for some.
Therefore
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,
people
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, in general, tend to distinguish that mental health and relaxation are necessary for body function. A recent survey conducted by scientists that more than 56% of
people
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 survived mental disorders, especially after the covid pandemic. Nowadays,
people
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 have less leisure
time
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 than in past years, to involve in some other activities which put more pressure on individual lead to mental stress. Many
people
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 want to spend
time
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 with friends and family in their spare
time
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 and they are not interested to participate in the rat race system.Needless to say, all the points stand in good stead. In recapitulation, I reiterate that both trends have their own merits.
However
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, owing to these stated reasons, mental health is paramount to everyone's life and at the same
time
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, we should spend at least minimal
time
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 involved in other activities to improve the mind. We know in totality that
time
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 is more valuable than money.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive abilities
  • mental stagnation
  • intellectually stimulating
  • relaxation
  • meditation
  • stress reduction
  • overall well-being
  • personal development
  • life satisfaction
  • sense of achievement
  • emotional balance
  • peace of mind
  • scientific evidence
  • memory
  • learning
  • creativity
  • emotional regulation
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