Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #leisure #activities #waste #time

According to researchers, there are many forms of incorporating education at school. The fusion of leisure, or sporting activities into academic learning could be one of those ideas. I strongly advocate

Remove the preposition

apply

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this

thought of making any games or sports

Unnecessary verb

apply

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educational.

This

essay will discuss how children can be benefited from

this

fusion using examples.

Firstly

, the receptiveness of

human

Correct article usage

the human

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brain is highly grasping to a

live action

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live-action

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, activity or

a visuals

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visuals

a visual

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rather than reading a book.

For example

, in Sweden for many years there was

rule

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a rule

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passed by the government, that all the toys sold for children should have some educational value.

In addition

, the survey results from

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apply

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scientific research conducted on that rule proved that

child

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children

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using those toys developed more cognitive skills at

very

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a very

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early age.

Therefore

, it is proven that all games for kids should be of a learning value. On other hand, the most popular pokemon card game in

Correct article usage

the UK

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children, where they collect cards of different

creature

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creatures

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to earn points. If, they were replaced by some useful calculations or academic data the students could

benefited

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benefit

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while playing. The time wasted on these cartoon card games if

interwined

Correct your spelling

intertwined

with maths, or science data can be used wisely in learning. In conclusion, the goal of implementing education into

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

toys and leisure

activties

Correct your spelling

activities

sustainable

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a sustainable

show examples

way of using time for kids. Learning while playing is an excellent and effective way of teaching a student.

Submitted by varshar1612 on Wed Jan 11 2023

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

240 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Write a report describing the information in the graph below. You should write at least 150 words. Writing task 1.

In some countries, there has beeenan increase in the number of parents who are choosin to educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think we should do more to prevent crimes, while others believe that we can do little for this problem. Discuss both views and give your opinion.