Some parents think computer games are better for children and they should be allowed to play more of them. whereas some parents argue that they are harmful to children.Do you think advantages outweight disadvantages.

#parents #computer #games #children #outweight

Children

tend to love playing

games

since they can make them happy and they can fill their leisure

time

. Not only for spending the spare

time

Change preposition

show examples

holiday but

game

variation helping

children

to overcome the feeling of bored.

On the other hand

, some

parents

think that giving

children

games

could lead to addiction feeling. I think it is noteworthy to know whether computer

games

are the best choice for

children

Correct word choice

if we

show examples

can offer better activities for them. In my opinion, the disadvantage is more outweigh compared with the advantages and my justification will be explained in the following paragraph.

Children

cannot

filtering

Change the verb form

filter

be filtering

show examples

what

video

game

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

suits them. They just need to seek happiness which is related to the dopamine release from the brain. Some televised

game

is not designed for

children

's age range.

Thus

there will be a possibility of harmful content affecting their brain memories. Even though there are

few

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

entertainment

Change to a plural noun

entertainments

show examples

created for

children

, adult people must take a look at them. If

parents

lose control to watch their

children

, they can put what they see in the memories.

As a result

children

can practice what they got in

video

games

. We can see

this

problem nowadays where bullying is ubiquitous but the bullies did not realize it was the effect of what they have seen in the

games

. As we can see, unwanted content may appear during the

children

's playing the

game

. If

parents

want to let

children

have fun with various types of

video

games

, they need to assure and select

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

game

content.

Otherwise

, the drawbacks which come from the unsuitable

game

design can ruin their brain and reduce their motivation to do a highly demanding focus

such

as learning, memorizing, and so on.

In addition

parents

are suggested to set a

time

limit on how

longer

Replace the word

long

show examples

they could take some pleasure

Change preposition

show examples

playing computer

games

. I think it is

also

important for

parents

to create quality

time

with the

children

instead

of letting them get some euforia from

video

games

. To conclude, the negative sides of letting

children

play more

video

games

might harm the

children

through their source of pleasure feeling and the

game

's graphics.

Nevertheless

, strict attention is required from the

parents

so the

children

can choose the best

game

for them.

Submitted by maryzashabira on Thu Jan 12 2023

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for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

383 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some parents think computer games are better for children and they should be allowed to play more of them. whereas some parents argue that they are harmful to children.Do you think advantages outweight disadvantages.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that professionals , such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuess both these views and give your opinion.

Studying art in school improves students' performance in other subjects, because it is easier for multi-skilled students to learn new things. That's why art should be obligatory in schools. Do you agree or disagree?

Methods of transportation for people traveling to one university for work or study in 2004 and 2009 in the UK.

It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct (e.g. dinosaurs, dodos, etc.). There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree?