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Some parents think computer games are better for children and they should be allowed to play more of them. whereas some parents argue that they are harmful to children.Do you think advantages outweight disadvantages.

#parents #computer #games #children #outweight
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Children
 tend to love playing
games
 since they can make them happy and they can fill their leisure
time
. Not only for spending the spare
time
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 holiday but
game
 variation helping
children
 to overcome the feeling of bored.
On the other hand
, some
parents
 think that giving
children
games
 could lead to addiction feeling. I think it is noteworthy to know whether computer
games
 are the best choice for
children
 or
we
Correct word choice
if we
show examples
 can offer better activities for them. In my opinion, the disadvantage is more outweigh compared with the advantages and my justification will be explained in the following paragraph.
Children
 cannot
filtering
Change the verb form
filter
be filtering
show examples
 what
video
game
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
suits them. They just need to seek happiness which is related to the dopamine release from the brain. Some televised
game
 is not designed for
children
's age range.
Thus
 there will be a possibility of harmful content affecting their brain memories. Even though there are
few
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
entertainment
Change to a plural noun
entertainments
show examples
 created for
children
, adult people must take a look at them. If
parents
 lose control to watch their
children
, they can put what they see in the memories.
As a result
,
children
 can practice what they got in
video
games
. We can see
this
 problem nowadays where bullying is ubiquitous but the bullies did not realize it was the effect of what they have seen in the
games
. As we can see, unwanted content may appear during the
children
's playing the
game
. If
parents
 want to let
children
 have fun with various types of
video
games
, they need to assure and select
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
game
 content.
Otherwise
, the drawbacks which come from the unsuitable
game
 design can ruin their brain and reduce their motivation to do a highly demanding focus
such
 as learning, memorizing, and so on.
In addition
,
parents
 are suggested to set a
time
 limit on how
longer
Replace the word
long
show examples
 they could take some pleasure
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 playing computer
games
. I think it is
also
 important for
parents
 to create quality
time
 with the
children
instead
 of letting them get some euforia from
video
games
. To conclude, the negative sides of letting
children
 play more
video
games
 might harm the
children
 through their source of pleasure feeling and the
game
's graphics.
Nevertheless
, strict attention is required from the
parents
 so the
children
 can choose the best
game
 for them.
Submitted by maryzashabira on

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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