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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The tradition that the family gets together to eat meals is disappearing. What are the reasons? What are the impacts?

#tradition #meals #impacts
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It is argued that families eating together have disappeared in
this
Linking Words
 modern era. In
this
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 essay, I will give an explanation regarding
this
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 issue and
future
Correct pronoun usage
its future
show examples
 impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the family culture.
To begin
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 with, there are factors that contribute to the disappearance of
mealstime
Correct your spelling
mealtimes
within
Change preposition
among
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 family members.
First
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 and foremost, most family members are getting busier for personal consideration.
In other words
Linking Words
, they are likely to spend more time
for
Change preposition
apply
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finishing their work in the office to increase their social status, they tend to just be concerned about their career rather than spending time together with their family
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 evidence can decline
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
 meal tradition slowly due to personal ambition.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
 modern era, people have a tendency to be minimalist, which reduces their energy to cook or do something complicated.
As a result
Linking Words
, they will prefer to buy fast food in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 restaurant than
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 food at home. In terms of affecting family existence, it may reduce
families
Change noun form
families'
family's
show examples
 engagement and family health.
To begin
Linking Words
, the disappearance of meals together gives a gap
within
Change preposition
among
show examples
 relatives, it leads to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of
engagements
Fix the agreement mistake
engagement
show examples
 and communication within the family. The low frequency of relatives meeting could have a big effect on harmony and bonding. In the long term, each family has a lower empathy and sympathy attitude. In conclusion, family is a mini heaven in the world that can give a fresh spirit and
energies
Fix the agreement mistake
energy
show examples
 to pursue life. Spending mealtime
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
family
Add an article
the family
a family
show examples
 could strengthen the relationship with each relative.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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