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Band 5.5

Some countries have legal ages at which people can drink. Other countries believe not have strict laws is a better policy. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#countries #ages #people #drink #laws #policy
he
Correct your spelling
The
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 population of
young
Correct article usage
the young
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 generations
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 been increasing over the decades. Having a valid
age
 to start drinking in some
countries
 is paramount while a few
countries
 have not imposed solid laws for it.
This
eassy
Correct your spelling
essay
easy
 will illustrate both views and give
opinion
Add an article
an opinion
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 in the latter part. On the one hand, the
government
 of some
countries
 think that there is no need to add regulations on
a specific
Correct the article-noun agreement
specific age groups
a specific age group
show examples
age
 groups to drink because it is solely
parents’
Correct article usage
the parents’
show examples
 responsibility to look after their children, not the authority.
Also
, it is a case of human rights
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 example, the
government
 cannot force youngsters not to go
pubs
Change preposition
to pubs
show examples
 or bars as they are not fit in appropriate
age
 criteria.
Furthermore
, if more and more people purchase drinks, the economy of
countries
 directly boost, which stimulate the
government
 to spend more money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the development of significant areas
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 education and hospital.
On the other hand
, having a certain
age
 for juveniles
to begin
 liquor is essential in some
countries
 and I completely agree with
this
 notion. The reason is that children are not only immature to take
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 right decision at
this
age
, but they are
also
 mentally unstable to handle the consequences, which they have to face after drinking. By imposing
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
strict legislation, the
government
 could have
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
brighter adolescents who will likely make
Add an article
a contribution
show examples
contribution
Fix the agreement mistake
contributions
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 to
shape
Wrong verb form
shaping
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 the country in the future. To conclude, indeed
countries
 can have more economical advantages if they have not adopted an adequate policy for
drinking
Correct article usage
the drinking
show examples
age
although
 I think to keep people on
track
Add an article
the track
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
particular
age
groups
Fix the agreement mistake
group
show examples
, legal measures
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 played a vital role.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Legal drinking age
  • Underage drinking
  • Health repercussions
  • Addiction
  • Drunk-driving
  • Responsible drinking
  • Forbidden fruit
  • Social rituals
  • Public health
  • Safety framework
  • Risks of alcohol
  • Cultural differences
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