IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television has destroyed communication among friends and family. Use specific reasons and examples to explain that.

#television #communication #friends
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The advent of technology led to facing a lot of problems that before we didn’t have and it
consequelly
Correct your spelling
consequently
 changes the way in which we communicate with others.
However
Linking Words
, in my humble opinion, I believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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television doesn’t ruin our
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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 in social life. In fact, it is visible that there had always been families in which there wasn’t communication and it is
also
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 true that
youngs
Correct your spelling
young
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, nowadays, have
deep
Add an article
a deep
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relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
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 like in the past, even if they spend
time
Use synonyms
 with electronic
advices
Correct your spelling
devices
.
To begin
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 with, we can analyze that today it is true that there are a lot of families in which the components don’t speak to each other, but it was always like that. A family is formed by individuals who didn’t
choice
Replace the word
choose
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 to stay there. So can happen sometimes that we don’t agree with our own dad or mother.
Moreover
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, sometimes,
also
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the
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apply
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marriage could be difficult, but the fault is not
of
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apply
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the advice : people
devorce
Correct your spelling
divorce
divorced
 a long
time
Use synonyms
 ago as today.
Secondly
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, it is possible to see how people still have in their life deep link with their friends. In fact, the friendship that we develop since we are little remain during
Use synonyms
time
Add an article
the time
a time
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, even if we watch television. To add, it is
also
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 visible that the movies and the tv series can
unit
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unite
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 friends and help them to have special moments.
For instance
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, if there is a movie
that is
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 good to see with others, it can
became
Change the verb form
become
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 the
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
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of
Change preposition
for
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 a meeting, and it can contribute to
create
Change the verb form
creating
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 some unforgettable occasions to stay together,
such
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 as when the teenagers organize
Correct article usage
a pjama
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pjama
Correct your spelling
pyjama
 party to watch films to spend
time
Use synonyms
 together. In conclusion, as
everything
Change preposition
with everything
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 in life, we have to pay attention to how
muchwe
Correct your spelling
much we
much
 do something,
so
Correct word choice
and
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also
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on
Change preposition
to
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 how much
everyday
Replace the word
every day
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 we watch
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Tv, but
on the other hand
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, if we do something with balance
such
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 as spending
time
Use synonyms
 on tv series with our dears there is nothing wrong. Maybe in a family without
communication
Add a comma
,communication
show examples
 it can
also
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 bring some share moments.
Submitted by scognamiglioanna88 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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