IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people think employers should not care about the way their employees dress, but the quality of work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #employers #care #employees #dress #quality #work
Some individuals insist that they should be allowed to wear what they want comfortably when they
work
, saying it will increase their
work
 efficiency.
In contrast
, there are some people who don'
t
 agree with the statement, saying that dressing up is
also
 a part of
work
. In my opinion, it should be up to what kind of jobs the
employees
 have.
For example
, if one needs to meet their
clients
face
 to
face
, it's unavoidable for them to wear proper
clothings
Change the wording
clothing
items of clothing
articles of clothing
show examples
. None of
clients
Add an article
the clients
show examples
 will welcome a bank
officer
 with
t-shirt
Correct article usage
a t-shirt
show examples
 and jeans. It will make the client think that the bank
officer
 isn'
t
 serious with their job and they don'
t
 want to
work
 considerably.
This
 situation will impact the business of the company.
Hence
, it's an understandable case where
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employers care
their
Change preposition
about their
show examples
employees
Change to a genitive case
employee's
employees'
show examples
 dress.
However
, there are
also
work
 fields where dressing up at
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
show examples
 isn'
t
 as important. I can give an example of
post
Correct article usage
a post
show examples
officer
. Nowadays in Korea, it's being less and less common to deliver a parcel
face
 to
face
 to their
clients
. Because there are many cameras and security boxes to drop off the parcels, both
clients
 and post officers prefer
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
contactless delivery. In
this
 situation, it doesn'
t
 matter whether the post
officer
 wears
nicely
Change the word
nice
show examples
 or not. It's more important that he feels comfortable with his clothes so that he can
work
 without unnecessary
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
 caused by wearing
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
uncomfortable clothes. In conclusion, there can'
t
 be only one answer to
this
 statement. It depends on where the person
work
Change the verb form
works
show examples
. It should be guaranteed that
employees
 wear
comfortably
Change the word
comfortable
show examples
 in their workplace. But there is a limit. It cannot be accepted that
employees
 wear as they want
while
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 they need to
mee
Correct your spelling
meet
show examples
 their
clients
.
Submitted by seongminkr7 on

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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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