the amount of time spend on sport and exercise should be increased in school in order to tackle the problem of overweight children do you think the best way to deal with the problem sir what others solution can you suggest.

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On the other hand
, I
also
think schools are not a place to do
sports
all time.
Therefore
,
school
principals should advise their children's parents to take them either to a club or a specific place where they can do
sports
.
Besides
, in these
places
Add a comma
,places
show examples
they will have more attention together with an
improve
Change the verb form
improved
show examples
training. For these reasons, children with overweight may reduce it faster than in schools.
For example
: If
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
had a child, I would take him to a soccer academy rather than to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
. To conclude,
although
, doing
sports
at the
school
school
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
is always a wonderful thing
Correct your spelling
because
becasue
Correct your spelling
because
these
Correct your spelling
activities
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
developing
Wrong verb form
develop
show examples
personality
Correct article usage
the personality
show examples
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
children, I would like to add that
sports
should be
practiced
Change the spelling
practised
show examples
in places dedicated to
sports
since they will benefit
Correct your spelling
quickly
show examples
quicky
Correct your spelling
quickly
show examples
than in the
school
Submitted by javiiercabrera on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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