Today people in many countries have to spend more and more time away from their families .Whay is this happening? what effects does this have on the people themselves and their families?

#people #countries #time #families #whay #effects

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In many countries, people are spending more time away from

home

due to their careers and earning more money.

However

this

phenomenon has had a negative impact on society.

First

of all, the main reason people live away from

home

is their professional

life

In other words

, many reputed , multi-national companies are located near metropolises; they pay well and offer more benefits,

such

as medical insurance, paid holidays, and others, for their employees.

In contrast

, in many countries, candidates cannot find

such

occupations near their homes.

This

means they have to move far away from their native habitat. On the one hand, moving to major cities for careers brings some advantages for personal

life

; ,

Change the punctuation

;

show examples

main

Change the article

the main

show examples

factor is financial stability .

For example

, if someone works for higher wages, they will become economically independent in a short period of time and may be able to purchase a house and vehicle without the need for a loan.

Furthermore

, working for a large corporation helps you achieve your professional goals. Living in a small apartment or a shared house with people from a different culture,

on the other hand

, can cause stress in your

life

. Spending more time away from

home

on the other hand

, has caused serious problems for families. which has a direct negative impact on family oblivion .

For example

, living with family members creates an emotional bond; celebrating holidays and dining out with

family

Add an article

the family

show examples

can strengthen that bond,

Although

it is possible to contact family members via mobile devices,

this

cannot replace face-to-face contact.

In addition

, children in families may be vulnerable to anti-social activities because of a lack of parental attention. To summarize, while living far away from

home

can have some advantages in professional and family

life

, it has

also

resulted in severe social issues,

such

as an increase in anti-social

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

and the breakdown of family bonds.

Therefore

, I believe that the disadvantages of living in a

home

outweigh any potential advantages.

Submitted by bambarandahb on Sun Jan 15 2023

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Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

324 words

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Today people in many countries have to spend more and more time away from their families .Whay is this happening? what effects does this have on the people themselves and their families?

Your opinion

Some employers believe that job applicants’ social skills are more important than their academic qualifications. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behavior. What is your opinion?

In many parts of the world kills and boys are educated together in co-educational or mixed schools think that girls and boys benefit from being educated separately in single sex schools towards extend to you agree with this view?