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Band 4

Many elderly people are no longer looked after by their families but are put in case homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages or this trend?

#people #families #case #homes #trend
It is agreed that the main goals of human beings are
survive
Fix the infinitive
to survive
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 and give
a
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apply
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birth
for
Change preposition
to
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 their children. Of course, we have other purposes as well, but nature gave us
such
 targets on an instinct level. It was normal that families had been living together under one roof because it was better for surviving and looking after offspring and for the elderly as well.
However
new
Add an article
the new
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 trend in developed countries has been changing
from
Change preposition
since
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 the
second
 part of twenty century and usually family separates.
Moreover
, the popularity of nursing homes is rising
ang
Correct your spelling
and
among
young
Correct article usage
the young
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 generation is looking after their predecessors less
that
Correct word choice
than
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 it was before.
Such
Add an article
The such
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 tendency has their own perks and quirks which we discuss in the essay.
First
 of all, it is always difficult to break
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 link between parents and children, and not only for
Add an article
the child
a child
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child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
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. We are getting the idea of one family from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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childhood, so putting your elderly
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a nursing home could be treated as a
betray
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betrayal
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from
Change preposition
by
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 him,
and
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apply
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which is equally important,
from
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in
show examples
the
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apply
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society as well.
Secondly
, if you have great relations between generations, it is always good to keep them and nursing your elderly is
very
Add an article
a very
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 good way to do
this
. From
other point
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another point
other points
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 of
view
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,view
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 the modern world dictates its own terms.
Although
 we extended our day with electricity, we have less time than our ancestors. The pressure from
the
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apply
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society is so high that depression becomes
commodity
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a commodity
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 among our generation. In
such
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circumstances
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circumstance
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,circumstance
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 we have less ability to look after our elderly.
In addition
,
the
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apply
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life expectancy has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increased
for
Change preposition
over
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 the
last
 decades, so old people have diseases that
was
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were
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 rare many years ago
,
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apply
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 because humans just died before
get
Wrong verb form
getting
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 them.
Such
 illnesses sometimes need special care which
difficult
Add a missing verb
is difficult
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 to achieve at home. To sum up, I want to say that
look
Wrong verb form
looking
show examples
 after your elderly
undoubtedly
Add a missing verb
is undoubtedly
show examples
 a good tradition, but it will be substituted by case and nursing homes in the future. It would be normal for our society to put
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
 there.
Submitted by vitalysavchenko on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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