Some people think that it is best to save money, for example in a bank or savings scheme. Other people feel that money should be spent whenever it is available. Discuss these views and reach an opinion on this debate.

The scheme of allocating
money
is
hotly-debated
Add an article
a hotly-debated
show examples
topic in our life. Several societies have
notion
Add an article
the notion
a notion
show examples
that keeping the
budget
in a
bank
is
beneficial
Add an article
a beneficial
the beneficial
show examples
preference, meanwhile,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others say that we should use it when it
is exist
Change the verb form
exists
show examples
in our wallet.
This
essay shall elucidate those paradigms and peddle up the reason why the
first
contention is more valuable than the
last
option.
To begin
with, we will gain numerous benefits when our
money
is kept in a
bank
. To exemplify, our
money
will be saved in exceptional protection because banks have good security
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
like protection
personnels
Correct your spelling
personnel
, the steel branch, etc.
Consequently
, we shall keep away from the risks, namely our
budget
will be stolen or the disaster which will corrode it.
Furthermore
, there are profits from
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
every annual period because the
money
in our account will be exerted
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
activities. As an output, the banking institution will distribute
us
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the extra profit, due to the fact we have given
trustness
Correct your spelling
trusted
trusts
.
Nevertheless
, using our
budget
when it
is exist
Change the verb form
exists
show examples
has some positive points.
For example
, when my
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
singer announces that he will do
concert
Add an article
a concert
the concert
show examples
, I should spend my
money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
the tickets.
As a result
, the happiness feeling from dopamine will increase because my desires have been accommodated.
Moreover
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
exerting
money
whenever it is available makes us learn how to distribute the allocation cost for the priority business, that being the case, we might apply the art of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money
management. In conclusion, keeping
money
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
bank
is a better determination than
fill
Wrong verb form
filling
show examples
our interests when we have coins in our pocket.
Although
, we shall achieve happiness and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
financial management from the
second
perspective,
however
, saving
money
might obliterate negative potencies
such
as catastrophe which shall destruct our
budget
or a thief who wants to steal it.
Then
, we are able to acquire the profit from the
bank
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • accumulate
  • stimulate demand
  • economic growth
  • quality of life
  • financial balance
  • budgeting
  • expenditures
  • personal goals
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!