Some people think that it is best to save money, for example in a bank or savings scheme. Other people feel that money should be spent whenever it is available. Discuss these views and reach an opinion on this debate.

#people #money #bank #savings #scheme #debate

The scheme of allocating

money

hotly-debated

Add an article

a hotly-debated

show examples

topic in our life. Several societies have

notion

Add an article

the notion

a notion

show examples

that keeping the

budget

in a

bank

beneficial

Add an article

a beneficial

the beneficial

show examples

preference, meanwhile,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

others say that we should use it when it

is exist

Change the verb form

exists

show examples

in our wallet.

This

essay shall elucidate those paradigms and peddle up the reason why the

first

contention is more valuable than the

last

option.

To begin

with, we will gain numerous benefits when our

money

is kept in a

bank

. To exemplify, our

money

will be saved in exceptional protection because banks have good security

system

Fix the agreement mistake

systems

show examples

like protection

personnels

Correct your spelling

personnel

, the steel branch, etc.

Consequently

, we shall keep away from the risks, namely our

budget

will be stolen or the disaster which will corrode it.

Furthermore

, there are profits from

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

every annual period because the

money

in our account will be exerted

for

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

economy

Replace the word

economic

show examples

activities. As an output, the banking institution will distribute

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

the extra profit, due to the fact we have given

trustness

Correct your spelling

trusted

trusts

Nevertheless

, using our

budget

when it

is exist

Change the verb form

exists

show examples

has some positive points.

For example

, when my

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

singer announces that he will do

concert

Add an article

a concert

the concert

show examples

, I should spend my

money

for

Change preposition

show examples

the tickets.

As a result

, the happiness feeling from dopamine will increase because my desires have been accommodated.

Moreover

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

exerting

money

whenever it is available makes us learn how to distribute the allocation cost for the priority business, that being the case, we might apply the art of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

money

management. In conclusion, keeping

money

Change preposition

show examples

the

bank

is a better determination than

fill

Wrong verb form

filling

show examples

our interests when we have coins in our pocket.

Although

, we shall achieve happiness and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

financial management from the

second

perspective,

however

, saving

money

might obliterate negative potencies

such

as catastrophe which shall destruct our

budget

or a thief who wants to steal it.

Then

, we are able to acquire the profit from the

bank

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Mon Jan 16 2023

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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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15Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

316 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial security
unforeseen circumstances
accumulate
stimulate demand
economic growth
quality of life
financial balance
budgeting
expenditures
personal goals

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Some people think that it is best to save money, for example in a bank or savings scheme. Other people feel that money should be spent whenever it is available. Discuss these views and reach an opinion on this debate.

Your opinion

As countries develop, more and more people buy and use their own cars. Do you think the advantages of this trend for individuals outweigh the disadvantages for the environment?

The bar chart illuistrats the percentage deviation of internatinal students among university graduates in different Canadian cities between 2001 and 2006.

the best way to sovle world's environmental problem is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Some people think that the range of technology currently available is increasing the gap between rich people and poor people. Others think that it is causing the opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your opinion.