IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Directors of large companies often receive much bigger salary increases than ordinary workers. Employers' organizations say that in a global market this is necessary to attract the best management talent. What are your views? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

#directors #companies #salary #increases #workers #employers #organizations #market #management #talent
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In today’s society, large ventures offer
a better salaries
Correct the article-noun agreement
better salaries
a better salary
show examples
 to
directors
 than normal
workers
 because
this
 is one of the ways to attract talented people around the world. In my opinion, I totally
agree
Add the preposition
onagree
toagree
withagree
show examples
 the statement for the following reasons.
To begin
 with,
directors
 often have higher qualifications than ordinary
workers
.
For instance
, a company will often set a higher requirement for whom that willing to take the responsibilities to become a director.
In contrast
, normal
workers
 typically have basic requirements
such
 as
Add an article
the present
show examples
present
Wrong verb form
presenting
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 certificate of graduation from high school to enter the firms.
Besides
, the risk taken by
directors
 is way higher than
workers
.
Directors
 often need to have a variety of
skills
such
 as interpersonal
skills
, management
skills
, and communication
skills
. To
further
 illustrate,
directors
 often have to plan and managed the project carefully as the failure of
project
Add an article
the project
a project
show examples
 might lead them to be unemploy. Henceforth, when the project is well managed at the end of the period,
directors
 receive bigger salary increases as they take a higher risk than office
workers
.
Furthermore
, large businesses often provide attractive work benefits to the talents.
This
 is due to the fact that a good management company is often to become successful businesses in the world.
For example
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 company with
good
Add an article
the good
show examples
 organization often have clear action plans and ambitious strategy to achieve.
The working
Correct article usage
Working
show examples
 incentive programs, profit share to
directors
, and attendance bonuses are some of the working benefits that organizations offer to attract excellent
directors
.
Moreover
,
directors
 have larger responsibilities as compared to normal
workers
,
directors
 often have more tasks to complete and more objectives to achieve. In conclusion, there are various
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
reasons why I agree
directors
 have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
higher pay and increases in their salaries, all of which I think are reasonable and acceptable.
Submitted by hong2016600 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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