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Band 4.5

Some people think that it’s a good idea to socialize with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it’s important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #it’s #idea #work #colleagues #evenings #weekends #life
In
this
 modern era,
people
 have a lot of different
friends
 that are out of their society,
such
 as jobs mates whom
people
 see
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
every day in
Correct article usage
the workplaces
show examples
workplaces
Fix the agreement mistake
workplace
show examples
,
However
, some
people
 believe that
work
colleagues
 should have strong friendships for several reasons.Where, some say that the job is the job and the
work
 is for the
work
, and show many factors for
this
 view. In my opinion , both
views
 are reasonably solid
views
 .And in
this
 ,
essay
Add an article
an essay
the essay
show examples
 I will discuss both
views
 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
close
Replace the word
closed
show examples
 eyes.
firstly
, in the
views
 of
people
 who say that
work
colleagues
 can be closer and they say that it will benefit both the companies and workers. For ,example the
colleagues
 will discuss barriers and solve that barriers in
Change the article
a
show examples
cooperative way.
Besides
, the companies will not need to lose employers if
everyone
Add a verb
iseveryone
waseveryone
show examples
 happy and feel comfortable .,Employers if they feel the company their home and
colleagues
Correct pronoun usage
their colleagues
show examples
 are their
friends
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
differently
last
 for a long, and move the company forward.
Secondly
,
people
 who do not agree with the employers should not have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
friends
a friend
show examples
friends
 from the
work
 environment because that may lead to more problems and
work
 progress may result in negative consequences. Fo,r example if managers and workers have close friendships may protest and not go to
work
 or they may be united and freeze the
work
 progress.
In addition
. they may go together to open a new business to complete with their company .
This
 is what
people
 are afraid of that may have sense. To sum up,
people
 should have
friends
 as they like and prefer from their
work
 or from their private world that would help them live better and healthier.
Submitted by saeedra358 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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