IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1

Women should have an equal role alongside men in both police and armed forces. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#women #role #men #police #forces
I strongly agree on
equal
Add an article
an equal
show examples
role
Fix the agreement mistake
roles
show examples
 for both
gender
Change to a plural noun
genders
show examples
. The reason is, being
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
women
a woman
show examples
women
 they will have more exposure and more advantage in pursuing
such
Add an article
a such
the such
show examples
Correct article usage
a career
show examples
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.
Women
 can openly give
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
 and knowledge at work. No discrimination can be done as they will be given an equal role. Basically,
women
whe
Correct your spelling
when
 given tasks are more likely to be aggressive. Detailed and meticulous, these are just common characteristics of a
women
Correct the article-noun agreement
woman
show examples
that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 very useful in both police and armed forces.
Lastly
, being a
women
Correct the article-noun agreement
woman
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society is seen as weak but if they were given an equal role they can showcase and prove their capabilities.
Submitted by sharma1997.rahulthakur on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: